BAD {Michael Jackson}

{BAD... 21}

Saturday Night~

Alexis's POV:

I pouted silently in my room. I felt so devalued and dehumanized. I never felt this hopeless before. I wanted to die.

I was just a pawn in this stupid game of revenge. I thought Smiley valued and cared about me, when he really was holding me for ransom to avenge Michael.

And I could bang my head against the wall for thinking that it was even a possibility that something would come of Michael and me.

My brain has just made up crazy scenarios to protect itself from the realization of the shit that's happened. I'm done lying to myself.

I mean nothing to no one. Not Chris. Not Smiley. Not Michael. I'm just a pawn. I was a pawn used to save Chris from jail time, and I was a pawn used between Michael and Smiley for whatever beef they have.

Someone cracked the door open and peered inside. "Are you okay, Señora?"

I sniffed and turned toward the door. A Latina woman stood between the cracked door with immense concern on her face.

"Who are you?" I asked forcefully. I was still worked up and couldn't help myself.

She stepped into the room and closed the door. "I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself. I'm Maria. Carlos's girlfriend." She told me.

She was really soft spoken and sweet. I began to calm down and softened my tone toward her.

"Oh." I replied shortly. She came and sat next to me on the bed. "Why are you so worked up?" She asked.

I wiped the tears that continued to stream down my face. "I hate it here." I said. "I'm confused, scared, and no one even cares! They're all sick people! Especially Michael." I complained.

"I'm not going to say that you and I are in the same boat, but I know how you're feeling right now. But I'm sure we both knew what we were getting ourselves into when we got into a relationship with a criminal." She said.

My jaw dropped. What the hell?

"What makes you think that Michael and I are together?" I asked in utter confusion. Her face turned red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I just assumed." She said.

"Well why would you assume that?" I asked as I was starting to grow defensive.

"I assumed because of the way he talked about you." She said. "This morning, I heard him arguing with Andre over you. Andre was saying to let you go, and Michael told him he couldn't. Andre started taunting him, saying that he actually cared about a woman."

My heart melted. "He cares?" I asked. Maria nodded. "That's what I heard."

I shook my head in disagreement. "He doesn't care about me." I said. "There's no way."

Maria shrugged. "I disagree. I think in his own sick and twisted way, he does. Someone like him probably isn't used to a feeling like that, and he's working out how to comprehend it."

"But it's giving me hell! Whatever issues he has to work out within himself shouldn't affect me." I said.

"You're right." Maria said. "But you should try and be patient with him."

I squinted my eyes at her. "He doesn't deserve my patience." I hissed. Maria sighed. "That I can understand. I just wanted to come up here to talk to you. I know how it feels to have nobody, and I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you."

She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I accepted the hug willingly. It'd been a while since I had one. She pulled away and smiled at me before standing and leaving the room.

I gave what she said some real thought. She wanted me to be patient with him?

He isn't patient with me at all!

I was so angry with myself. I know that I have a soft spot for him. And I feel that he has one for me too.

There's no way to be sure. He's proved himself to be a sick and twisted sociopath who doesn't care about me.

Fuck it. I'm done pouting.

I walked out of the room and went downstairs. I wandered around the house as I continued to think about what Maria said.

I wandered into into the kitchen that led to a back patio area with a pool. I peeked through the glass doors and saw Michael's silhouette sitting a table by the pool.

I slid the door open and stepped outside. I still hadn't caught his attention. He just stared endlessly at the water in the pool. He must've been deep in thought. Just by assumption, that probably isn't usual for him.

I sat in the chair across from him. "Hey."

He glanced over at me. "You need something?" He asked. I shook my head. "No."

He sat up straight. "Good. Because I need to talk to you-"

"Let me talk first." I interrupted. He sat back. "Go ahead."

I took a deep breath. "I don't understand you. I don't understand how I feel about you or how you feel about me." I explained. "I'm so confused and no one cares. I'm just a pawn in this stupid game."

He shook his head. "You aren't a pawn."

I started to get angry. "Yes I am! I was held for ransom. I was just a tactic Smiley used to get revenge on you. As dehumanizing that is, I don't blame him. I would want revenge on you too! You killed his brother."

"You don't think he already did? There's a reason he was locked up right with me." He said.

If smiley already got his revenge, then why was he doing this?

I furrowed my brows. "I don't understand."

Michael sat up again. "I know you don't. That's why I'm going to explain it to you if you're willing to listen."

I looked around the back patio as if to look for the approval of people who weren't there. I fixated my eyes back on Michael. His face remained a serious expression, but his eyes showed sincerity.

"I'm listening."