It's Complicated {{Yuliy X Reader}}

It's Okay

Angry. Cold. Regret. 

(Name) was going through all of these emotions and hated it. Every fiber in her body she abhored. The coldess of the night wasn't helping to appease her either- rather, it made her feel even more empty. 

I hate myself.

What was she thinking? How could she lose control like that? The taste of Yuliy's blood lingered in (name)'s mouth; it was a smooth and rich flavour that reminded her of dark chocolate in a way (I love dark chocolate).

And she hated it.

She wanted to throw up.

I hate myself.

Shivering, (name) wrapped her arms around in attempt to keep herself warm. It was futile. Her body shook and her mind wandered to the possibilities of what would've happened if she took too much of Yuliy's blood. He would've collapsed- maybe even die if she went overboard.

It scared her.

The thought of killing Yuliy for blood frightened her.

I hate myself. I hate myself.

Why was she like this? Why did she have to be born this way?

I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.

Maybe she should have gone with Mikhail; that way she would've been less ashamed of drinking blood. She made the wrong decision and now she was paying for it. Now Yuliy was going to hate her because she was the exact person he hated- a bloodsucker. She should've known that this is how it would've ended.

I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I HATE MYSELF!

Hot tears streamed down (name)'s (s/t) face as her breathing quickened to a destructive pant. She was hyperventilating. Sweat rolled down her face as tears continued painting her face. Saying she was upset was beyond an understatement.

A creeping feeling slithered its way onto (name)'s body making the grip on her arms tighter until her nails were on the verge of breaking past her skin. "(Name)."

"Yu... Yuliy?"

"(Name). How could you?"

Blood spewed out of the neck from the Yuliy that stood in front of (name), making her gasp. Was this real? This has to be. It was all too real for it to not be.

(Name)'s body shook like an earthquake. Her head was lightheaded from her quick breaths that didn't take in as much oxygen as she needed. Her voice choked out little sobs that harmed her throat. This was all her fault. The dying Yuliy in front of her was her fault.

Yuliy had opened the door of the roof; he had been looking for his companion for the past half hour. "(Name)," he called out while his eyes scanned the top of the building. Listening into the sound of pants and choking sobs, he soon found who he was looking for- only, she was muttering.

"I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. He hates me."

Yuliy's heart shattered. Seeing how broken the (h/c)nette was tortured him. Leaping to her side, Yuliy threw his arms around her curled up body. She shook; he could feel it. She cried; he could hear it. She smelt of blood; he could smell it.

"(Name), I'm right here. I'm right in front of you. It's okay. I'm okay. You're okay. Everyone's okay and everything's fine." Yuliy started to say soothingly. In all honesty, he was still trying to process everything that happened. He wondered why (name) kept her thirst a secret and why he never knew in the first place.

(Name)'s shaking had ceased but her crying only increased "Yu-Yuliy. I'm so- so sorry! I-I... I killed you! I h-hate mys-self so mu-ch! IT'S- IT'S ALL MY FAULT!" The girl managed to choke out.

Yuliy held her tight in a warm embrace. He let his hands trail to her back where he rubbed polygons of sorts all across the skin canvas as he placed her head onto his chest where she sobbed. Yuliy kept silent; he didn't know what to say.

"I'm right here." He managed to spit out; "I could've ki-killed you. I'm afraid! I'm so afraid of hurting you!" (Name) buried her face deeper into the Sirius' chest as she clutched onto his shirt, fearing that if she let go, he would disappear from her sight. "I should've been stronger! I just... I just hate myself so much... I-I..." (name)'s voice cracked and ended in a squeak.

The devastation in her voice evident with her breaths quaking. As she rambled regrets, Yuliy thought of ways to calm her down. Proceedingly, he rubbed soft flowers on her back- it seemed to work to some dainty extent but it wasn't enough. She still shook with horror- with fear.

'Come on, Yuliy! Think!'

Yuliy panicked to himself. He needed to think of something. As long as he's known (name), this moment had happened only one other time. How did he deal with that? By holding her and telling her sweet nothings- that didn't seem to work now. And that was something he didn't know how to respond to. Right now, he was the closest to (name) and was the only one he knew she trusted; therefore, he was the only one who could calm her down.

An idea creeped into the back of Yuliy's mind. It was absurd but might work. It would question their entire relationship and possibly ruin it. But what other choice did he have? There were no other options. He had to do something. Anything. For a moment though, he hesitated; did he really want to do this? Afterwards, would be accept (name) as she was? How would he react? Would he carry this burdening weight?

Could he?

Should he?

Will he?

Yes. Yes he could, should, and will. This was (name) we're talking about. She's been by Yuliy's side for years. They've grown together, studied each other and understood one another. No way was he going to let this incident destroy what they've tried to protect for years: comradery. In war it's the most valuable thing. In this case, it was a safe haven to have a comrade.

They were each other's safe haven.

With a newly found motivation, Yuliy pulled (name) a few inches away from his chest. Her eyes were red and puffy as a trail of tears decorated her pained features. Before she could cough up an apology, Yuliy did the first thing his mind thought up a few moments prior. The action that contradicted their comradery.

His lips found their way on top of (name)'s shaking ones. He felt how cold her lips were but that didn't phase him for his warm ones quickly heated her up. Yes, what he was doing right now was something he never thought of doing (especially in a situation like this) but wanted to do.

He kissed her.

(●ᴗ●)(●ᴗ●)(●ᴗ●)(●ᴗ●)(●ᴗ●)

Hi(●ᴗ●)how(●ᴗ●)are(●ᴗ●)you(●ᴗ●)?

Oh, hey_(;ᵌ」∠)_ didn't see you there _(;ᵌ」∠)_ you're just too beautiful _(;ᵌ」∠)_ that I can't comprehend _(;ᵌ」∠)_

Lolol!! Sorry about that, I was bored. Did you guys like this chapter? I didn't want to rush anything or force something that didn't seem to be right. I kept rereading it and it didn't appeal to me. Maybe it's just me. Tell me what you think!!♡