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CRUELLA Alright sit down Christopher We need to talk
RICO SUAVE I SWEAR IT WASN'T ME WHO BROKE THE COFFEE TABLE IT WAS JEREMY
CRUELLA Wait WHAT?? I didn't even realise the coffee table was broken Okkk I'm going to kick Jeremy's ass BUT that's not why we're here
RICO SUAVE Why do I have a feeling this has to do with Regan
CRUELLA And you would be correct We need to talk about your obsession with my sister
RICO SUAVE 🙄🙄🙄🙄
CRUELLA Look Chris All jokes aside I want you to hear me out
RICO SUAVE I know what you're gonna say Stop messing around, stay away from my sister blablabla
CRUELLA You really don't get it I'm saying this for your own sake
RICO SUAVE You don't think I'm good enough for her?
CRUELLA Ooooh no mate Quite the opposite Trust me, you don't know Regan She will destroy you
RICO SUAVE Wtf??
CRUELLA I can tell you really like her And tbh I don't usually get involved in my sister's business She's a big girl But I think you're a great guy, and you're my friend That's why I feel like I should warn you Regan doesn't do relationships Don't let her make you feel special because she doesn't really think you're anything more than a conquest She'll get you hooked and leave you high and dry And I know that's not what you want She will break your heart Chris It's what she does
RICO SUAVE Jesus Does she know you're telling me all of this??
CRUELLA No of course not And I'd appreciate it if it stayed that way Wouldn't want her to think I'm going behind her back
RICO SUAVE But that's kind of what you're doing??
CRUELLA I'm doing it to spare your feelings, asshole
RICO SUAVE I've been talking to her for months She's really not the villain you're making her out to be
CRUELLA No but she has a tendency not to mind people's feelings And I have to step in when people I care about are involved
RICO SUAVE Well you're wrong I can't believe someone would say stuff like that about their own sibling Regan thinks the world of you, you know? She'd be heartbroken if she knew about this conversation
CRUELLA Okkk I see where this is going You're trying to put the blame on me because you don't like what I'm saying That's fine, I can take it At least I've warned you so my conscience is clear
RICO SUAVE Thanks but I've survived this long without your input I think I'll be fine
CRUELLA Yeah I knew this would go in one ear and out the next 🙄
