50 // PRIVATE CONVERSATION

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YOU ARE NOW MESSAGING:

CRUELLAAlright sit down ChristopherWe need to talk

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CRUELLA
Alright sit down Christopher
We need to talk

RICO SUAVE
I SWEAR IT WASN'T ME WHO BROKE THE COFFEE TABLE
IT WAS JEREMY

CRUELLA
Wait WHAT??
I didn't even realise the coffee table was broken
Okkk I'm going to kick Jeremy's ass
BUT that's not why we're here

RICO SUAVE
Why do I have a feeling this has to do with Regan

CRUELLA
And you would be correct
We need to talk about your obsession with my sister

RICO SUAVE
🙄🙄🙄🙄

CRUELLA
Look Chris
All jokes aside
I want you to hear me out

RICO SUAVE
I know what you're gonna say
Stop messing around, stay away from my sister blablabla

CRUELLA
You really don't get it
I'm saying this for your own sake

RICO SUAVE
You don't think I'm good enough for her?

CRUELLA
Ooooh no mate
Quite the opposite
Trust me, you don't know Regan
She will destroy you

RICO SUAVE
Wtf??

CRUELLA
I can tell you really like her
And tbh I don't usually get involved in my sister's business
She's a big girl
But I think you're a great guy, and you're my friend
That's why I feel like I should warn you
Regan doesn't do relationships
Don't let her make you feel special because she doesn't really think you're anything more than a conquest
She'll get you hooked and leave you high and dry
And I know that's not what you want
She will break your heart Chris
It's what she does

RICO SUAVE
Jesus
Does she know you're telling me all of this??

CRUELLA
No of course not
And I'd appreciate it if it stayed that way
Wouldn't want her to think I'm going behind her back

RICO SUAVE
But that's kind of what you're doing??

CRUELLA
I'm doing it to spare your feelings, asshole

RICO SUAVE
I've been talking to her for months
She's really not the villain you're making her out to be

CRUELLA
No but she has a tendency not to mind people's feelings
And I have to step in when people I care about are involved

RICO SUAVE
Well you're wrong
I can't believe someone would say stuff like that about their own sibling
Regan thinks the world of you, you know?
She'd be heartbroken if she knew about this conversation

CRUELLA
Okkk I see where this is going
You're trying to put the blame on me because you don't like what I'm saying
That's fine, I can take it
At least I've warned you so my conscience is clear

RICO SUAVE
Thanks but I've survived this long without your input
I think I'll be fine

CRUELLA
Yeah I knew this would go in one ear and out the next 🙄

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