The F*cked Up Club // Robert Downey Jr

167 // GROUPCHAT

* THE MARVEL BUNCH *

SCARLETT
You guuuuuys I am so happy for you
I can't believe you're engaged 😭

ROBERT
Aww Scarlett

LANA
Scar my love thank you ❤️

MARK
For real, this is so exciting
I really didn't see it coming

LANA
Me neither tbh

EVANS
I mean you're already living together so it's kinda irrelevant

SCARLETT
Can you just stfu and say congrats

HEMSWORTH
Yeah Evans, why are you complaining we're getting a free wedding buffet out of this

LANA
'Free wedding buffet' as if your hobo ass wouldn't be able to afford food otherwise? 😑

EVANS
I'm jussssayin it's not like it'll change anything 🤷🏼‍♂️

ROBERT
Chris, buddy, your eternal bachelorness is showing

EVANS
#MarriageisaSocialConstruct

LANA
It's okay Chris, one day you'll be able to hold a girlfriend longer than 3 weeks

MARK
AHAHAHAHAHA HARSH

EVANS
Why am I friends with you people 💔

JEREMY
Alright kids
Let's move on from Evans' lonely woes
Now that Downzie's engaged and shit
We need to talk about the upcoming nuptials

ROBERT
Nuptials...? Seriously 😑

SCARLETT
FINALLY an interesting conversation topic in this useless groupchat

HEMSWORTH
Ay speaking of which
I have SO many ideas for Downey's bachelor party
It's going to be epic

ROBERT
Bold of you to assume I would let you plan ANYTHING related to this wedding

LANA
Bold of you to assume any of you are coming to this wedding in the first place
Except Scarlett of course

SCARLETT
Wahwah you can all suck on that 👏🏻

EVANS
Too late bitch I already picked out my suit 🖕🏻

JEREMY
Bold of you to assume we wouldn't crash the wedding either way

ROBERT
Guess you'll have to swim there buddy

SCARLETT
Swim?¿¿

ROBERT
Yeeep
We're getting hitched in Australia

LANA
Destination wedding bitches ✌🏻

HEMSWORTH
I wholeheartedly support this decision 🙌🏻

ROBERT
Aw Hemsworth you approve?
No one asked for your opinion though
But thanks for the contribution 😙

HEMSWORTH
WOOOOOW RUDE

LANA
Oh my God 😭
I felt that burn deep in my soul

EVANS
So why Australia guys?

LANA
This may shock you but I am australian

MARK
Dang we definitely never noticed the godawful accent

HEMSWORTH
Watch your mouth yer bloody yank

LANA
You are definitely disinvited from my wedding ruffalo 🙂

MARK
I'M SORRY I TAKE IT BACK

ROBERT
Anywaaaay
We also chose Australia to avoid the photographers hounding us

SCARLETT
Jeez you're heading to another hemisphere just to avoid paparazzi?
I wish I was this dedicated to my privacy

LANA
Look it's going to be a small and private event
The last thing we want is for the media to ruin it

JEREMY
I mean I can respect that and everything
But you're gonna stick me on a 15 hour flight? 😩 I hate plane rides

ROBERT
You're very welcome to RSVP 'not coming' pal
In fact you're encouraged to do so 😉

JEREMY
I AM SO UNNAPRECIATED IN THIS CAST

SCARLETT
Lmfao robert is grilling people harder than a barbecue today

LANA
Okay guys, as much as I love bullying Jeremy
Jokes aside for a second
Robert and I would be honoured to have you all at our wedding. You guys are the greatest bunch of dorks I've ever met
And we love every single one of you

ROBERT
^ what she said

EVANS
Holy shit who knew getting engaged would turn you into a sappy mess

MARK
Yeah, can you go back to borderline abusing us? This much affection is making me uncomfortable

LANA
IS THIS WHAT I GET FOR TRYING TO BE NICE FOR ONCE

JEREMY
Lmaooo don't listen to those assholes
We're all super happy for you two

HEMSWORTH
Daawww Mac you're gonna make a grown man cry... and does this mean I get to plan the bachelor party? :')))

ROBERT
Hahahaha still no.

SCARLETT
I love you both so much 😭
And I'm so honored to be your bridesmaid 💖

EVANS
Hooooold up
Did Scarlett just say bridesmaid

LANA
Well yeah
I already asked Scarlett, Marjani and my sister to be in my bridal party

MARK
WAIT A MINUTE
So Lana chose her bridesmaids
I don't remember being asked to be a groomsman?????

HEMSWORTH
WTF me neither???

JEREMY
Yeah Downey explain???

ROBERT
WOW WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME IT'S GETTING LATE

LANA
😂😂😂