The F*cked Up Club // Robert Downey Jr

190 // GROUPCHAT

[ 3 WEEKS LATER ]

~

* THE MARVEL BUNCH *

ROBERT
Hey guys
Just wanted to let you know
Lana's gone into labor
We've been at the hospital for the last few hours

SCARLETT
OH MY GOD

HEMSWORTH
It's happening!!

EVANS
My goddaughter is on her way 🥰

JEREMY
Holy shit everyone STAY CALM

MARK
Ok but what are you doing texting us instead of focusing on your wife??

ROBERT
Lana wanted me to send you this
Since she can't type herself
Wait actually
Jeremy you're the admin
Can you get Marjani and Regan in here
I cba to message everyone individually

JEREMY
Oh sure

JEREMY added MARJANI to the group
JEREMY added REGAN to the group

REGAN
Err hello

MARJANI
Yes, hi
Kinda confused
When exactly did I join the Marvel cast?

JEREMY
Robert has an announcement to make and he wanted to message everyone all at once

HEMSWORTH
Sooo you get the privilege of being part of our cult for today

MARJANI
Okay weirdos 😂

REGAN
Bro in law where you at?

ROBERT
Sorry I'm back
Lana just had another contraction
The bones of my hand are crushed

MARJANI
DID YOU JUST SAY CONTRACTION?

REGAN
MY NIECE IS COMING 😭😭😭

ROBERT
Oh yeah lmao
We're at the hospital
She's in labor
She wanted me to message you guys to thank you for being such an incredible support system
And say that she loves every single one of you

MARK
Let me guess, she's high on gas and air? 😂

ROBERT
Hahahah yeah a little
But also very emotional

JEREMY
Enjoy it
We're not gonna hear her declaring her love for us again anytime soon

EVANS
If ever lmao

MARJANI
Yo I'm seriously crying rn

REGAN
I'm booking a plane to LA right this second
I'll be there by the time my niece is here

HEMSWORTH
Same, Elsa and I are visiting as soon as the gremlin is born

ROBERT
By the way
Lana also wanted me to tell you we chose Evans and Scarlett as our daughter's godparents

SCARLETT
OH MY GOD
BRB HYPERVENTILATING

EVANS
HELL YEAAAH

MARJANI
As if anyone's surprised lmao

SCARLETT
Excuse me while I ugly cry for the next few hours I'M SO HONORED THANK YOU 😭😭

JEREMY
Ugh can't believe you succumbed to peer pressure Downey
I'm disappointed

EVANS
Stfu Renner I campaigned for it I EARNED IT

ROBERT
Hahahaha to be fair we would've chosen them with or without the constant whining
Anyway
This is where I leave you all
The contractions are getting more regular
Lana's already cursed me out a few dozen times
The next few hours are gonna be a wild ride 🙃

MARJANI
Hahaha you sound nervous Rob

ROBERT
I'm not the one about to push a bowling ball out of my body
So I'll be okay
But yes
I'm fucking terrified 🙃🙃

MARK
Hey you've both done this before, you'll be fine!

REGAN
Okay now get off the phone and focus on Lana

EVANS
We're sending you all our positive vibes!

HEMSWORTH
Good luck you guys 🙌🏻

SCARLETT
And congrats again 💖

JEREMY
We can't wait to meet her!

MARJANI
We love you both ❤️❤️

ROBERT
Thanks everyone
See you on the other side ✌🏻