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MARJANI Lana I have something to tell you It's pretty big
LANA What what??
MARJANI Don't freak out okay?
LANA Omfg what is it with EVERYONE telling me not to freak out every time they have something to say 🙄 when do I ever freak out??
MARJANI Lmao when do you NOT freak out would be a better question
LANA Whatever 😒 spill the dirt sis
MARJANI There's no dirt But you're gonna kill me for not telling you earlier
LANA Okay wow I probably will But do go on
MARJANI Here's the deal I think I like Jeremy As in More than a friend
LANA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You got me for a second there 😂 No really what is it you wanted to tell me?
MARJANI -_______-
LANA Oh shit You're not kidding??
MARJANI Nope Now do me a favor and don't be an asshole about it
LANA Wait wait Are we talking about the same Jeremy here? As in Jeremy, my favorite human punching bag??
MARJANI Jeremy RENNER, yes
LANA Hold the hell up I am so confused rn When did that happen?? I feel like I'm missing a whole chunk of the story
MARJANI Well you kind of are 😅 Hence the whole "you're gonna kill me for not telling you earlier"
LANA You better start explaining RIGHT NOW woman
MARJANI Okay so It all started at your housewarming party
LANA WTF THAT WAS OVER A YEAR AGO??
MARJANI Let me finish goddamitttt You know I went to your housewarming party semi-reluctantly. I had just broken up with he-who-must-not-be-named and I wasn't in the mood for it at all
LANA Yeah I remember that
MARJANI So I spent most of the time on your patio. At some point during the evening, Jeremy must've noticed I looked miserable so he came to check up on me
LANA Okay that's suspiciously nice of him
MARJANI We ended up talking for most of the night I didn't know him that well until then But he turned out to be so sweet and funny It was a really nice time
LANA Are you sure this was at my housewarming party? Because if you guys spent that long together surely I would've noticed??
MARJANI Look I don't blame you The house was pretty crowded And we were on the patio most of the time anyway
LANA Alright, nevermind Continue
MARJANI I didn't think much of that night I was still reeling from the breakup anyway It wouldn't have crossed my mind to get with someone else But then I bumped into Jeremy again at the after-party of the BAFTA awards in London This time too we ended up talking most of the night At that point it had been almost six months since my breakup. So I was well on my way to recovery And idk... I guess Jeremy made an impression on me?
LANA Oh damn... you started to feel the chemistry, didn't you?
MARJANI I guess so Anyway, I kept running into him at various parties and award shows over the next few months We even met up a couple of times as friends And we'd have such a nice time every time But it would always end there I really thought we were JUST friends
LANA Do you think he likes you back though?
MARJANI Well, yes That's what I'm getting at We had a conversation just last week And he ended up admitting he had feelings for me. He said he has liked me for a while but never made a move until now because the timing was always wrong He even admitted that all the times we ran into each other at award shows weren't really coincidental. Most of the times he'd be motivated to go if he knew I'd be there, because he was hoping to see me. Isn't this the sweetest fucking thing you've ever heard? 😭
LANA That sounds like some masterclass stalking babe. I am mildly concerned
MARJANI LMAOOO STFU 😂 I mean I won't lie I also tried to maximize my time with him every chance I got So it ended up being a 50/50 effort
LANA Can't relate Before Robert came along I'd always run for the hills when I felt myself developing the slightest bit of affection for anyone
MARJANI I think we've established you were emotionally retarded before Robert came along
LANA WOAH HARSH But true
MARJANI Ughh Lana what do I dooo Jeremy's just so sweet and funny and genuine It's so refreshing to be with someone like that He's so uncomplicated and easy going while always making me feel like he cares
LANA Okkk I'm gonna stop you right there You are too far gone That's it Rip You're totally falling for him
MARJANI I guess I am 😂
LANA I'm so hurt you haven't told me earlier tho???
MARJANI I know I'm sorry 😭 But it's all so new You know I haven't dated anyone since he-who-must-not-be-named I literally don't know what it's like to have feelings for someone else So I needed some time to figure it out before I told you
LANA Well when you put it like that, I really can't blame you I am so bloody happy for you Marj
MARJANI Really?
LANA Of course I've been trying to get you back out there since your broke up with he-who-must-not-be-named I'm so fucking proud you're taking that step all on your own :') And you know I love to take the piss out of Jeremy but he's honestly such a great guy, I couldn't think of anyone better for you (Don't EVER tell him I said that though, he'd never let me live it down)
MARJANI noted 😂
LANA Also I can't believe that little rat has kept it a secret until now. I mean you're my best friend, you'd think he'd tell me out of courtesy at least??
MARJANI Lmao I think that's exactly why he WOULDN'T tell you And we all know you would've found a way to take the piss out of him
