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SCARLETT Sooo can we talk about the fact that you've been back from the honeymoon for a while and I still haven't seen you I know newlyweds get busy and all But don't ditch your friends jeez 😒
LANA Scarlett my love 😩 I literally haven't seen you in ages It's a travesty
SCARLETT Let's go have coffee this afternoon? There's a ton of stuff you need to update me on
LANA Maybe not today babe I think I caught food poisoning or something Been vomiting my guts for a few days and I'm so freaking tired all the time Might be something I ate on the honeymoon
SCARLETT Errr you came back from the honeymoon two weeks ago I highly doubt it would take this long for symptoms to show up
LANA I don't know, the nausea is killing me Although it does get better during the day
SCARLETT Wait what
LANA What what?
SCARLETT You're saying the nausea gets better during the day? So it's basically morning sickness??
LANA Err I guess?
SCARLETT HOLD ON A MINUTE
LANA Scarlett NO
SCARLETT When was your last period?
LANA I see where your head is going Stop right there mate I'm on the pill
SCARLETT Answer the questioooon
LANA Honestly I have no idea With the wedding and the honeymoon and all I forgot to keep track BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING
SCARLETT I meaaaan I did see some changes when I was looking at your honeymoon pictures Your boobs have literally doubled in size I thought you were just putting on weight But you've also been getting morning sickness??? COME ON YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS
LANA I AM NOT PREGNANT LEAVE ME ALONE
SCARLETT Holy shit you're totally pregnant 😂
LANA Wait Symptoms usually show up around the 4th week
SCARLETT That means it must've happened around the wedding or at the beginning of the honeymoon, right?
LANA Oh my fucking God Scarlett
SCARLETT What? what?
LANA I think there were a couple of days I wasn't consistent with the pill Because of the time difference and stuff IT WAS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE HONEYMOON
SCARLETT THERE IT IS NO WONDER YOU GOT KNOCKED UP
LANA I ONLY SKIPPED IT LIKE ONCE GODDAMIT
SCARLETT One time is all it takes sis 😂
LANA Brb I need to breathe in a paper bag
SCARLETT Lana chillllll this is amazing news
LANA This wasn't planned at all WTF DO I DO NOW??
SCARLETT I thought you guys already spoke about having more kids?
LANA We did But it was never supposed to happen so soon I assumed we'd have at least a year or two before we considered it seriously
SCARLETT Calm down we don't even know if you're really pregnant yet
LANA Too late I'm already freaking out
SCARLETT You're at home right? Is Robert with you?
LANA No he's got a table-read for his new movie He'll back in the afternoon
SCARLETT Good Here's what we're gonna do I'm gonna go buy a pregnancy test and I'm coming over okay? In the meantime just relax
LANA Alright...
SCARLETT Hey, whether you're pregnant or not, everything will be fine You've got a man who loves you and a solid support system (And a future godmother who's always there if you need her 😉)
LANA Did you just name yourself godmother of the child I don't even know if I'm carrying?
SCARLETT Mmmmh what if I did?
LANA I mean you're jumping the gun a teeeeeny bit lmao
SCARLETT Okay I'm heading to the nearest drugstore right now I'll be at your place in 30 mins Get ready to pee on a stick my friend 💃🏻
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YOU ARE NOW MESSAGING:
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LANA Hello husband of mine
ROBERT Okay you sound happy
LANA Do you think you could wrap up your table read early and come home?
ROBERT Errrm I can't just pick up and leave Lana What is this about?
LANA Just trust me It's an emergency Well not really but kinda
ROBERT Something wrong?
LANA Nothing's wrong Nothing at all Quite the opposite actually
ROBERT Can we please not speak in codes 😩
LANA Believe me you do NOT want to have this conversation over text messages
ROBERT Err okay...?
LANA Just come home as soon as you can I've got something to tell you
ROBERT Alright I'll try to free myself This better be important 🙄
