LYDIA'S P.O.V
When we found Stiles, if we found him, I wouldn't be happy.
It wouldn't be some joyous reunion.
In fact we wouldn't be together anymore, we couldn't be.
"Does any of this look familiar to you?" Scott's face was scrunched up with confusion, all the trees looked the same. Of course they did we were in a goddamn forest. There was nothing distinctive about the place me and Stiles once camped; that's what made it such a goddamn good hiding spot.
"Scott we've already looked here." I pointed to the white chalk marking the bark of one of the tree trunks. "This is ridiculous. We're chasing our own tails for some stupid fucking guy who doesn't want to be around us anyways."
"He'll be regretting his choice Lydia."
"Oh please, if he really did he'd of come home."
"No he wouldn't of, Lydia, you know how stubborn Stiles is. He would never change his mind, if he's set on something, he'll do it and he'll stick to it."
Scott had made very many fair and true points throughout our many arguments over the months from Stiles's departure and Allison's death. I always discarded them anyways, out of anger or the inability to accept them.
"I just hope for our own sakes we remember the way back to the car."
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It had been four hours and we had yet to find anything, no marks, no tracks, nothing. Not even one goddamn food wrapper or water bottle. It was as if the woods were untouched. Which made me believe that he truly wasn't here and we hadn't found a lead.
Throwing my head back in frustration, I opened my eyes to what a thought would be a clear sky but through the overhanging tree branches, it appeared to be foggy.
"Scott." I pointed upwards as soon as I grabbed his attention. "Why is the sky smoking?"
The smoke seemed to blow in the direction we came from and we both began to eagerly follow it, not saying another word. We both had hope in our hearts, it was odd. Goosebumps raised on my arms and adrenaline seemed to make my heart beat faster and legs move quicker.
We only sort of slowed down once the smell hit us, the smell of a bonfire.
My hand found Scotts in a tender hold and we began walking together. Unsure what we would we would find, unsure of who we would find. Scott had ushered ahead of me protectively, hand still holding my own. He had drawn his gun from his belt. I my knife.
He had his back to us.
But he was instantly recognisable.
A part of me wanted to run forward and send him into his own fire with a dramatic roundhouse kick, one he had taught me. Another part of me wanted to throw myself onto him, in a tight hold, one he couldn't escape from. So he couldn't leave again.
It seems the clothes he was wearing were ripped and he looked rather dirty, in need of a desperate wash. Many washes in fact.
Without watching his feet, Scott stepped upon a full thin branch that snapped in two under the pressure. It made all three of us jump really, him more so than us, he was quick to draw his gun. He hadn't seemed to of lost his touch.
That was the first time I saw his face in over three months. The face of someone who was so perfect yet so perfectly flawed. His mouth seemed to fall agape and he looked baffled. He blinked a few times whilst looking between me and Scott, probably trying to convince himself he was simply hallucinating.
"Scott... Lydia?"
"Stiles." Scott's voice was soft, it was filled with delight. He was happy to of found his best friend, the only thing holding him back from running and throwing himself into the arms of his childhood friend was the hold I had on his hand. "We.. we thought we would never find you."
Stiles's eyes dipped to our intertwined hands and he flashed through numerous emotions in what appeared to be half a second. Confusion, anger, sadness and that sad look only lifted once his eyes settled on my stomach.
"Lydia... I."
It must have been him saying my name. That must have been the trigger. I couldn't stop myself from launching the knife forwards, I didn't aim it at him directly, of course I didn't and when it landed sharply in the tree behind him I saw him flinch and bring a finger to the top of his ear. Wincing once he saw the blood.
"I suppose I deserved that."
"You deserve a lot worst."
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The day fell dark soon enough and Scott and Stiles has already made the decision to stay within the small camp for the night. Not deeming it safe enough for me to walk back to the car despite my protests. I hadn't spoken another word to Stiles, he had made weak attempts but I simply turned my head away or looked at the ground.
The small talk between him and Scott was rather peaceful though and sweet to hear. They were reminiscing about old times, simpler yet more violent times. Times filled with meaningless blood shed and undeserving fatalities.
They were still outside beside the fire talking when I decided to go to bed. Slipping into the tent I once lay with Stiles in, I found a small lamp in the corner and flicked it on. Slipping under the covers, I adjusted the pillows slightly for comfort, only to feel the edge of something mildly sharp caress the top of my finger. I reached into the pillow case, pulling out the frame of a polaroid picture.
A picture of me to be exact. He had kept this? It was taken months ago.
"Lydia, got a spare blanket in there?" Scott's head appeared from the entrance of the tent, a half smile on his face. "I'll sleep here, outside by the fire so there's more room for you guys in there."
"I'd actually prefer to sleep beside you Scott."
The tent door was pulled open even more and Stiles's face appeared beside Scott's.
"And why would you prefer that? Is there something fucking going on between the two of you I should know about?" He snapped, here we go.
"Of course there isn't! Even if there were, it wouldn't be any of your business anyways. If you cared enough for what and who I did, you would've stuck around."
Stiles has pushed himself fully into the tent now, Scott fell awkwardly back onto the ground.
"You know why I didn't stick around Lydia. I knew I couldn't bare to tell you in person so I wrote you a detailed letter, if I saw your face, the hurt in yours eye if I told you I thought it would be best for me to leave... I would never have done. You know this space has worked for you."
"Oh please if it had worked so well for me, why the hell would I be here right now! Stiles we have done nothing but look for you. You didn't just leave me, I'm not selfish enough to wallow over just my loss. You left your own gang, some leader you are, you preached loyalty like it was the most important thing in the world. Hell, you'd put a bullet between the eyes of a person who ever broke the loyalty pact, now you're just a hypocrite. Look, if you want us to leave, if you want us gone and you never want to see us again, by morning we will be and we won't disturb you or let up your location to your people but this is me telling you that right now, I want you home, for everybody. For our baby."
"What about just for you? Would you want me home just for you, for us?"
I shake my head, tears seemed to fall from my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I didn't wipe them away and neither did he, Stiles watched them fall.
"There is no us anymore Stiles."
