Lucky I'm in Love With My Best Friend (Ansel Elgort)

Leave this Life

The thoughts going through my head tell me to do it. Kill myself. Do everyone a favor. But then I think what about Lauren. I always said I don't want her to grow up without a dad but now I'm gonna make her grow up without a mom? I can't do that I just need time to think.

"Kenz?"

"What?"

"I think we should talk."

"Ok."

"I don't wanna fight, you know I love you and we shouldn't let one little thing ruin our perfect relationship." He said looking down at me grabbing my waist."

"We never had and never will have a perfect relationship Ansel. We created this mess. We brought Lauren into this world and since the day she was born we screwed up. We're just not setting good examples for her."

"So what are you saying?"

"We were fine when you weren't here. Since you came back everything has been messed up. Maybe we're better apart."

"But how is that fair to me? Why do you get to just leave me and take Lauren."

"Who said I was taking Lauren?"

"What the fuck I can't raise her alone." He yelled.

"Well I think it's time for me to go."

"Going back to Colorado isn't gonna do shit for you or me or Lauren."

"Not Colorado. Not anywhere. Ansel I need to permanately leave this life. I can't do this anymore. I need to die. I don't deserve you. Lauren doesn't need someone like me in her life. I'm sorry Ansel but I'm done." I walked over to the kitchen to grab and knife. He pulled me back.

"Your not doing this. I won't lose you." He said crying.

"It's better for everyone."

"No it's not. Kenz, you need help. We're gonna get you help baby."

"Help me by letting me die please! I just want to die." I said crying.

He pulled me into a hug.

"Shhh. Everything's gonna be okay." He said.