Lucky I'm in Love With My Best Friend (Ansel Elgort)

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I stood there at her funeral, not because I wanted to but because I knew I had to. There was a picture of her. One her parents had took of her at the park with flowers. Her beautiful blonde hair. Everything about her made me hurt more and more because of the thought that she was gone. Even though we had a great love story while it lasted, nothing was ever good enough for her. I can't stand there and speak in front of people I don't give a shit about because I'm the father of her kid. I have to speak I don't have a choice, I hate her for what she put me through but I don't think she should have killed herself, it was selfish.

"Now we'll hear a few words from Mackenzie's fiancè, Ansel." The guy said.

I walked up to the front of the room. I saw Nash sitting in the front row.

"Well as many of you know yes I was her fiancè and before she died she cheated on me. I hate her for that. Mr. Lipton you were right she got tired of me but she did love me at a time and I love her. Yes not loved but love I still and always will love Mackenzie. She was so beautiful, you never got tired of looking at her. You didn't have to worry about her getting hurt because she's one of the strongest people you'll ever meet. I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Lipton if I took your daughter from you. But I want you to know that I truly cared about her every second of the day. I know I can't do anything to bring her back but this was what she wanted. She's wanted to die for months now. She's mentally insane and maybe that was best for her. I'm sorry." I said as I walked away crying. I had to walk out I couldn't hold myself together anymore.

"Ansel." Nat said.

"You have no idea how much I wish I could have that last hug or kiss or anything. This is my fucking fault!" I yelled.

"Don't say that. She killed herself and before that she left you for Nash, she never cared."

"Your right. I cant-"

"If you really wanna blame this on me then your an asshole Elgort." Nash said interupting me.

"Fuck you Nash. If you would have just stayed out of our lives she would be right here. You were the one that should have died you asshole."

"Ansel chill." Nat said.

I went home and Nat and I got some weed and we smoked. It helped the pain go away. No pain. No Mackenzie. Nothing it's free.