Writer Games | Death Wish & 51

Task Five: The Dear Departed /QF - Lincoln Gardner [8]

I shouldn't have let her  go. Why hadn't I stopped her? How could I have been stupid enough to  let a vulnerable woman like herself walk alone? If I hadn't of been  engaged in deep conversation with--no, that's not important. Kerry's  gone, and it's my fault. If I hadn't of been so selfish by talking to  her instead of following Kerry like a good friend, then maybe things  would be different. No, things would be different. I'm such a selfish  prick.

    "Some deaths are inevitable you know." a familiar voice suddenly comments in on my thoughts.

    I don't have to look  to see who it is. Kara's voice is distinct from the others.  Halfhearted, yet something more than just. Kind of odd, now that I think  about it.

    "I guess." I half-agree.

    Her hand sits on my  shoulder, and she almost seems endearing. Or would be, if she weren't  allergic to almost the entire spectrum of human emotion.

    "Like you could've  followed her and maybe she wouldn't have disappeared off the face of the  earth, but who's to say that if we got out of here she wouldn't have  been swallowed by a fish in the following hours?" she muses.

    I laugh, half-amused by her antics, and smile. Maybe I was wrong.

    "Bit of a stretch but I appreciate the effort." I grin.

    She doesn't reply  and a thick barrier of ice builds between us, while I stare at the  ground in silence. I had to ruin the moment didn't I? A few minutes go  by with neither of us saying a word before I return my attention to her.  Her green eyes study the ground and I can't help but think about how  pretty her eyes are, and have been. Maybe I do need a map for her eyes.  Well, that and a map of this entire area. In all honesty, we have more  odds of getting lost than actually finding an exit around here. Yet,  we're going through with it anyways. Carrying our stuff, hoping there's  an exit somewhere. Speaking of which...

    "Here, let me help you with your bags." I break the ice.

    She glances at me, then down at her travel bag and suitcase, and it looks as though she  isn't going to let me help.

    "No, I can-"

    "Too late." I cut her off as I take her bags.

    Surprisingly they're  lighter than I expected, and it should be easy to carry hers as well as  my own. Especially for the time being as I think it was Alicia who  wanted to meet in the chamber before we try and attempt to head out. She  never said why, and no one dared to ask since she's the type that you  never press for information.

    "Wow Lincoln, I'm impressed. Shrimp can carry luggage." Kara slights.

    Thanks?

    "I'm flattered? Er-  anyways, you might not have been there, but Alicia wanted us all to in  the chamber for whatever reason, so we should go meet her." I reply.

    She nods and it  doesn't take more than a minute at most to enter the chamber where five  other people, stand, all holding luggage of their own.

    "I could've sworn I  asked you to meet us ten minutes ago, but I'll spare you my words."  Alicia lightly scolds before continuing on with what she was going to  say. "Anyways, since we're leaving this graveyard of a secret base, I  thought we should honor those who haven't been as fortunate as the rest  of us. Not only will it bring closure to some of us here, but I feel  like it needs to be done. So reflecting on those lost, would anyone like  to say anything?"

    She only gets  murmurs in response, and it doesn't seem like anyone wants to say  anything, or at least, admit to their feelings.

    "Lincoln has something to say about Kerry." Kara blurts out.

    My eyes widen, and  now the attention of the room is on me. I don't really want to talk  about it, truthfully. If I do, I'll think about her, and get sad and...

       "Uh right, I do.  Um. Kerry was great. And she was really friendly, and always calm, and I  think we all enjoyed her presence. She was kind of like an older sister  to most us, and I think we should um, remember her that way. She was a  friend to most of us, and a great one at that, and I um, wish she were  still here. And I know we all do, but, she was my confidant, and I  really miss her, and I uh wish I had been there for her like she had  been there for me at times- I mean, that's what it is right? I failed as  a friend? I mean, she might've not been missing if I hadn't of been  selfish, and chosen to talk to Kara instead of go after her. When she  was visibly upset, and decided to go out alone. That's my fault, right?  She was upset and I failed to be there for her like she was for me. And  because I did, she's-" my voice cracks, "-She's gone. That's my fault  isn't it? Failure as a friend and now she's gone. It's all my fault..." I  choke.

     A dozen eyes stare  at me, and a knot forms in my throat that prevents me from speaking any  more. Great. How much more selfish could I be? This was about Kerry, not  about me, and I made it about me. She must be so disappointed...