Writer Games | Death Wish & 51

Task Five: The Dear Departed /QF - Kara Travis

We're ready.

It took a while, but  finally, we're ready. Our bags are packed, we've mapped out a route, and  all there's left to do is gather our things and go.

But first, there's one thing we must do. We reminisce.

Skate. Well, now that she's gone, maybe the least I could do is call her Sarah-Kate instead.

Sarah-Kate. The place  lacks her voice. I thought it was excessive at first, that she was  arrogant, bossy, very annoying. I always knew she was nice, which was  the only reason I didn't hate her. What I don't understand is how it  took me a life or death situation to realise that Sarah-Kate was  genuinely caring, even towards someone who disliked her without reason.

As it turns out, I owe a  lot more to her than I thought I ever would. Sure, those octopuses  never turned out to be dangerous in any way, but that doesn't change the  fact that she endangered herself to save me...and I wasn't even a  friend.

I don't regret not  befriending her earlier. After all, if I had she wouldn't have helped me  realise how wrong it was for me to judge someone the way I did her.  What I do regret is that I couldn't have spent more time around her. The  short span of time I spent around her told me just how precious a  friendship can be and taught me that relationships can be so fragile,  shattered by something as simple-yet as complex-as death. Sarah-Kate was  something precious that showed me how to treasure what I have before it  slips from my grasp.

Kerry. I find myself  missing her smarts, her calm exterior. I miss the times I was able to  see through her dismissive front and down to her sarcastic core. I find  myself wishing to hear more of her voice. Her opinions, her outlook on  life and what it meant to her as someone a decade older than I'll  probably ever be. Now that she's gone, I actually feel lost. What did  leaving the Area mean to her, as someone with a husband waiting for her  return? I never asked, so I guess I'll never know.

Skate was twenty and Kerry was twenty-eight. Now both of them have left. Life really is such a short journey.

"You're okay, Kara.  Right?" Amari sits a few feet away from me, bag toppled over by her  side. She looks like she's seen better days, with her hair in tangles  and bloodshot eyes.

"Yeah, I am." Concern floods through me and I ask, "You?"

She says nothing,  turning away from me to stare at the wall in front of her. It worries me  a little. Amari's seemed pretty shaken up for the past day and not even  Audrey has been able to figure out what's wrong. I decide not to make a  sound and wait for her to continue instead.

"I wonder if Tegan knows."

"Tegan?"

"My daughter." Amari  looks down uncomfortably. "I wonder if anyone told her." She sees the  confusion on my face and clarifies, "That we're stuck here." Pause.  "That...I might not get back to her."

An uncomfortable silence  fills the space between us. I take to staring at the same wall across  from us, tracing a line through every splotch of dirt I see. The joined  dots form a wonky flower. "Hey," I say, "If it's any comfort...maybe she  doesn't know."

Amari frowns. "I can't  tell if that's a good thing. Maybe, if she just knew, she'd be more  prepared to lose me. Then it wouldn't be like, her mother disappeared,  and, well, never told her why."

"Amari," I say, cocking  my head to the side to look at her. "Look at it this way. She might not  have an answer, but there's one thing she does have."

Amari raises an eyebrow.

"Hope." When Amari  doesn't say anything, I continue. "Before you left... Well I'm pretty  sure you told her you were coming back for her, didn't you? And she  believed you. If your promise did anything, it gave her hope. On the  other hand, there's my case."

"Oh." She frowns. "What's your case?"

I take a few deep  breaths and stare at the flower on the wall. "I have a friend. Her  name's Lynn." Pausing, I wait for the dull ache in my chest to subside.  "On those nights she can't sleep, she heads downstairs and turns on the  TV." I laugh a little. "And because it's two in the morning, the news is  on. Basically, whenever she can't sleep, she's downstairs watching the  news."

"So she's heard about us, and the lock in."

"Yeah," I sigh. "And a  while back, we stopped hearing from the government. I'm willing to bet  that means no one outside knows what's happening to us. Now all Lynn  knows is that we're stuck here. For all she knows, I could be dead." The  ache returns, invading the pits of my stomach. "I'm also very sure  that...she hasn't been able to sleep a single night since the day I  left."

"There's always hope."

"I can't find it."

"Sure you can." Amari smiles a little. "As long as there's no definite failure, it's always there."

That makes my lip quirk up a little. "Makes sense. Thanks for that, Amari."

"You know..." Amari hesitates. "If Tegan...if Tegan ends up like you-"

"An orphan, you mean."

Amari looks sheepish. "I  didn't mean to put it that way. But if, say, I really don't get home to  Tegan...I hope she grows up to become like you."

Despite the sincerity of  the statement, it almost makes me laugh out loud. "Are you serious?" I  chuckle. "I'm a bundle of negativity. You'd probably rather her be a  girl like Lynn."

She smiles again, and  this time it's wider than the last. "To be honest, I see more in you  than I do her. Not that I ever knew her."

This time, it's me who raises an eyebrow.

"You might lack a lot of  hope in things, but you make up for it in determination. You're a  strong girl, Kara. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If Tegan loses  me, I hope she grows up to be strong. Like you."

Upon hearing those  words, my throat goes dry and my eyes sting with the presence of tears.  Ever since I was three, the only person who's given me such words of  affirmation was Lynn and maybe some weird teachers from my school. I've  been told that I can do it and some say that I could make it if I tried,  but Amari's the only person who's ever told me that I am strong. "Thank  you. I've never...been someone to look up to."

Amari looks me in the eye. "You are," she says. "You just have to believe it."

As I turn away, a part of me decides that if Amari gets into any sort of trouble, I'll do a role trade if I have to.

From my right, Lincoln shoots me a grin. "Feeling okay?"

He seems all fine and  dandy, but I can tell that the death of Kerry is affecting him more than  he lets on. I just nod before deciding to scoot a little closer. I give  him a nudge. "Y'know, if anyone's affected, it's probably you. Are you  okay?"

He sighs a little, leaning his head on the wall and turning to look at me. "I am," he says. "Just...upset, I guess."

"They shouldn't have died. And you shouldn't follow in their footsteps, okay? It's an order."

Lincoln laughs. "Is it? Well then, your wish is my command."

"I'm counting on that," I say seriously, shutting my eyes. "I'm counting really hard on that, Lincoln."

I can only hope that the next death I mourn won't be his.

Finally, it's time to  leave. We're done with reminiscing for the day. Picking up our bags with  an air of seriousness, we shut off the lights and leave the room.

Those who will never leave with us give us strength. For whatever else Area 51 throws at us, we're ready.