Potter: A Drarry Fan Fiction

Tough love

He played with my hair and mumbled little unfinished, incoherent songs I've never heard of, nevertheless, I listed to each hum intently, trying to place each note with a familiar tune. The sounds swirled around my ears.

"Would you come with me?" Draco muttered.

"Yes," I replied, not wanting him to go, but wanting him to go by himself even less.

"I would tell Remus and Sirius, I could plan it all out. We'd be in and out, just like that" he said clicking his fingers. It sounded as if he was trying to convince himself, he was doing the right thing, more than me.

I don't want him to go.

He can't seem to come up with a convincing argument that makes this visit logical. Months ago Draco wanted nothing to do with them. If it was up to him, he'd never see dear old dad or little mum ever again. He hated them. He resented his father for abusing him, and his mother for doing nothing.

It was his father, who burnt the soles of his feet for finding magazines. It was his mother who kicked him out for being gay. It was them both who caused him to do what he did to himself that evening I found him. It was
that family that led him to want to take his own life.

But something has changed.

It's hard to place it to one exact moment exclusively. Just after receiving the letter, he said needs to see them. Why? To be insulted and hurt even more?

All the time I've spent seeing Draco suffer at the hands of their negligence. His eating, his addiction, his depression, everything he's worked to overcome, step by step, in spite of them and what they did to him.

What does he think is going to happen?

This is surprising for me because Draco is normally level headed and makes informed decisions, but this it seems, rushed, childish even. I understand wanting to have what others have. What Ron has. What Hermione has.

What I had.

But it's no longer, he needs to understand that.

All this hope it's going to eventually be his demise. He's clouding his judgment with the possibility that it might be different this time. Different from the times before. Different to his life thus far.

He wants to think they've changed. He suddenly needs to think they've changed.

My support is no longer enough. Am I no longer enough?

But the fact is: people don't change.

No matter how much we what it to happen, they don't. They might behave differently, they might seem better, nicer, kinder. But deep down, right at the core,

It's the same.

You can't take it out of someone, we are who we are due to a series of decisions. Some we choose and some are chosen for us. But once they are chosen, there's no going back. Yes, you can change your mind, but the original settlement remains.

You might change your view, but your previous one is still a part of you. You are still the same person that had that outlook and if you could do it once, why not again?

"Are you angry with me?" he asked anxiously.

"No," I said shaking my head.

And it was the truth.

He kissed my head. I turned around and our lips met.

I pulled away before the kids developed into something else.

"I don't want you to be hurt," I said.

His lip quivered, eyes looking at the ground defectively.

He looked up with tears in his eyes.

"Maybe I have to be"