Potter: A Drarry Fan Fiction

Stew

I had recovered outwardly and got on with the rest of my day. Which, despite the morning, was quite normal. It was a relief to have finished with our matches. We wouldn't know the results until the Durmstrang v Beauxbaton match tomorrow but I wasn't particularly worried.

We had lessons that afternoon but I barley participated. Hermione had grown tired of kicking me in the shin every time I should have been making notes and just started to write them for me.

***

It was a dark evening and I was walking the castle grounds alone. Everyone else was at dinner so they were deserted and I was alone.

Which gave me some space to think.

My name only really became important to me after that first letter from Hogwarts. I had never seen my name written down by somebody that wasn't me. I didn't get Christmas cards, or postcards, or anything addressed to me. That letter was the first.

When Hagrid said my name to me it was like someone had stepped off my chest. The Dursley's just called me 'boy' or 'you'. I did my very best trying not to exist for so long.

But I do.

I exist.

At first, Harry Potter was a part I played, just as I played the part of 'boy' to the Dursleys.

I'm embarrassed to admit it took me some time to stop playing Harry Potter and start being him.

I saw that in Draco, he was playing Draco Malfoy, a version created by his parents. Now he is Draco Malfoy.

It was Draco that I held in the night. Draco that fell to the floor with tears in his eyes, it was Draco who couldn't hide his suffering from me. Draco who prayed that his family would finally leave him alone.

Unlike me, Malfoy isn't his parents' name, it's his. And his only.

He is not half of his father and half of this mother he is complete, completely Draco.

Completely himself.

He doesn't think so, but I would be just as happy being Harry Malfoy-Potter as he would be being Draco Potter.

I like him, I like him a lot. A dangerous amount.

I still watch him do the simplest things as if they are revolutionary. He moves without moving and he stays still with such motion.

I could never define what he means to me.

He is everything I see, everything I hear, and smell, and feel. He controls my entire reality. He moves, I move. He stands, so do I. He does it with such little effort but with so much power.

As far as I'm concerned it's him that pulls the rain from the clouds and he that guides the flowers up from the soil. It's him that moves the wind and draws the nights in.

He blows the air into my lungs and pulls it back out again. He makes the blood pump around my body, it's him holding my heart.

Holding it. Holding me.

My body screams out for him. My skin would tear from my bones to touch him.

This can't be some adolescent game or falsehood. It can't be childhood frivolity.

Because I know it's name.

Sooner than others perhaps.

The dark, the light, the relentless pain. The flame that lights my brain and chars my heart. That sends smoke through my veins and sparks shooting from my fingers. The embers speckle my skin and the lightning flashes across my forehead.

It is the heavenly light and the hellish fire.

I would follow him through the jaws of hell just as enthusiastically as if they were the gates of heaven.

I will stare at his open flame until it bleaches my eyes white and turns my skin to ash.

For if he is the flame then lord make me the moth.

He is my thorny rose.

He is my perfect ache.

I looked up at the sky and at the stars. His sky and his stars. I wondered if they loved him as much as I did. 

"Alright there 'arry?" The voice asked.

I spun around.

"I'm fine Hagrid" I assured him.

"It's a little late for night wandering," he remarked.

"I could say the same thing to you" I replied walking closer to him.

"I just came out to ask if you wanted some stew, I've just put some on," he asked gesturing to his little stone cottage.

"I would love some" I answered with a smile.

We walked back together.

"I saw you today at your match," he said kindly.

"All three minutes of it?" I asked.

"Every second" he chuckled.