✔️ 40 Weeks [Book 1] | Jeon Jungkook

Week 31 - Part 2

I love reading your comments but please keep them respectful. I may not be able to reply but my notifications are on and I still see them, especially when I'm writing.
Please keep in mind that I'm a person with feelings too.

Love you💜

______

Hyun-Ji walked down the street, her tears flowing freely, not caring about the sympathetic stares she received from passerby's. Her tormented expression sparked concern in some but also deterred them from approaching.

I don't know if I can do this...
I really just want to scream.

She wiped her running nose with the sleeve of her sweater, and her quiet sobs became louder as her mind replayed his words on a sickening infinite loop.

He was always so happy when he talked about their family. He acted as if he were all in. Every day he would rub her abdomen and kiss her tenderly, telling her he loved her and their child. He even started to talk to Blueberry at night when he thought she was asleep, promising her that he would do his best to protect them. Hyun-Ji had woken up to Jungkook's head resting against her belly and his arm draped over her hips because he had fallen asleep while talking to her.

I just act like that because I have to.

He didn't want this. He never wanted this. He had her fooled, had everyone fooled for months. He was probably dying inside, smiling to everyone and acting like things were ok, never letting his regret show.

I'm afraid that something bad will happen and I'll be alone. That one day you'll wake up and not want your life to change anymore and you won't want this anymore...

Her own words rang in her mind. That day outside of the school she had confessed her fears to him. He cupped her face in his hands, looked deeply into her brown eyes and told her that that would never happen, that he would never leave her alone. He lied to her to make her feel better.

In reality, he didn't want to be a father. He was just here out of obligation. He didn't want to be that person that skipped out on his responsibilities and shame his family, so he pretended to be the perfect father-to-be.

Because he had to.
And her worst fear was realized.

I don't know how long I can keep this up, though. I feel like I'm suffocating...

He had given her so much hope. She had blindly latched onto his every word, clinging to it like a life preserver in the sea of her anxiety, the thoughts of a happy future keeping her head above water.

Why did he lie?

I can't handle her crying because of me.

Hyun-Ji cried harder, her sobs starting to echo in the night air. She could barely see the ground in front of her, her unending tears blocking her vision. He was right. She was always crying, and this proved his point.

She wanted this to be a nightmare. She wanted to wake up in the bed they shared to find him snuggled behind her, slowly rubbing circles on her belly, lulling her back to sleep, kissing her on her shoulder and telling her that it was just a dream, that he was still there. That everything was ok.

That would never happen now.
He didn't want her. He was just too nice to say it.

Hyun-Ji placed a hand on her abdomen. She had been walking for so long, and her exertion was causing her to feel cramping in her middle. She looked around for a place to rest, finding that she was right next to a park. There was a bench not too far away, and although it was night it was well lit enough by the street lights.