✔️ 40 Weeks [Book 1] | Jeon Jungkook

Week 31 - Part 4

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Please keep in mind that I'm a person with feelings too.

Love you💜

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Jungkook sat on the edge of his seat, looking at the disc-shaped monitors strapped around Hyun-Ji's midsection, then at the equipment setup next to her hospital bed.

The machine was constantly spitting out ribbons of results that he couldn't begin to read: two black lines of peaks and valleys, and no answer key to refer to. He frowned harder, wondering if bad news was staring back at him, mocking him for his ignorance, and he just couldn't decipher it.

Hyun-Ji lay in what was the hospital's idea of a bed, awake but with her eyes closed, one hand resting on the top of her belly.

"Is she moving again?" He asked softly, curious to know, yet afraid to hear the answer.

She looked up at him with somber eyes. "Not much," she murmured.

He swallowed hard and nodded, then looked back at the paper ribbon while chewing the inside of his lip, willing the results to magically become decipherable.

Jungkook hadn't realized he was furiously bouncing his leg until she leaned over and placed her hand on his knee, effectively stopping it.

He looked up suddenly at her. "Sorry," he breathed.

She kept her hand there, and warmth began to permeate through the thick fabric of his jeans. He stared down at the golden band encircling her fourth finger, then placed his hand on top of hers.

Jungkook drew in a deep breath and forced it out. His mouth opened and closed as he tried to conjure up the words to say.

"Hyun-Ji," he began, then closed his mouth and sighed in frustration. There was such a storm of emotions inside him that he couldn't figure out where to start. He was angry at himself, angry at her for running, frightened by the thought of his child's possible fate, relieved that Hyun-Ji was alive, furious at the person that attacked her...

And now she was bleeding.

"I'm sorry."

Her faint voice pierced through his thoughts, quelling his internal typhoon. He watched her as she looked down at their joined hands, her mouth pressing into a line before she continued.

"I came home, and I heard you talking on the phone. I heard you say... that you didn't know how long you could keep doing this, that you felt like screaming.

"I've always felt like a burden to you, like your life would be better without me here to complicate it."

"That's not true," he said. "I've never felt that way about you, Hyun-Ji.

"What I said... I don't feel that way because I don't want our family. It's the opposite. I'm so worried about our family that I feel like I'm not doing enough for it."

"Of course you are!" She interjected.

"I didn't even believe you when you told me you were pregnant, Hyun-Ji," he murmured.

He looked down at the floor in shame. The guilt from his earlier reaction had always been in the recesses of his mind, condemning his past self but also fueling his current determination.

"I should have supported you from the beginning. Instead, I made you feel like shit. I missed out on so much time to prepare, and now I feel like she won't have everything she needs because of me. That's my punishment."