*J* (the continuation)

Part Thirty-One: Chapter 235: Misdirection Fallout

Jake's POV

I had had a privileged life. I had been sheltered and protected by parents who wanted to see to it that I had a shot at a perfect life. I did everything I was supposed to. I chose a path and I stayed on it. I put forth my brain, into an avenue that helped people. I got a career. I got a wife. We adopted to have a family. We had an expensive house in secured subdivision. I had had the perfect life. Or at least it would look perfect to outsiders.

When I was a kid I worried that people would look at me differently if they knew I was adopted. When I voiced this to my mother, she smiled at me and said, "Most children are accidents, their parents didn't choose to have them. But adopted children, they're chosen. They're planned for and wanted. So who's really got better?" And she was right. I told my children the same. But still, adopted children develop a sense of not being good enough, of being unwanted. And no amount of love ever breaks that mind set.

So, as you can probably guess, it didn't take long for things to grow stale in my life. The career became mundane and routine. The marriage grew loveless and imprisoning. The children grew disrespectful and distant. Everything just went stagnant. I was merely going through the motions. Every day I prayed for something to change, for something to be spontaneous and unplanned. I wanted to feel something besides numbness.

I didn't understand where things went wrong. I had done everything right. Every choice I made was the right one. Every action I took was best one. I was a man who saved lives. Rule one: harm none. So if I had built the perfect life, why wasn't I happy? Why did I feel like I was slowly suffocating? Why did it seem as if I were losing myself? Biggest mystery of all was, how long could I carry on like this?

And that's when Frost kidnapped me. It's a scary feeling when a stranger points a gun at you. Most freak out. Some run. Others freeze. In my case, it made me appear obedient. Because my perfect life, my family, were being threatened. But hidden behind my obvious compliance was something else. I felt a rush, because in that moment, my life wasn't predictable and routine. And as crazy as it sounds, its pretty liberating to not know if you'll live until tomorrow.

J's entire world was so opposite of everything I'd ever known. It was new. It was exciting. It was taboo. They called him the Clown Prince of Crime. And boy did it fit. He really was a prince in the underworld. He was the Alpha, the patriarch, the master, the boss. I found the loyalty of his subjects to be fascinating. Any one of them would sacrifice themselves to save him. And it wasn't necessarily about their fear of him. It was really that they worshiped him. Several even loved him.

I wanted to be a part of his world. I wanted an unpredictable life. An exciting life. I wanted to do everything wrong. I wanted to be loved. To be feared. And now, as I stalk one brother for another, I get to pretend that the life of the Joker, was my own. His clowns treat me as they would him. People who cared for him, now cared for me too. I wanted this life.

"Ok," Simon says and turns around to face me, "Frost and Ace are expecting you. They've removed all live ammo and anything else that could potentially be dangerous," he hands me an earpiece that I could talk to J with. Then I pin a camera to my shirt that looked like a tie pin. It would show J what I saw.

I nod and stick the earpiece in my ear, "You hear me J?"

"Loud and clear," he answered.

"You have visual?" I then ask.

"Yep. You nervous?" He asks me.

"No," I say and look up at the building, "Wish me luck. I'm going in," I say and get out of the vehicle.

When I walk through the lobby the staff extends every courtesy to me that they would J, because they think I'm him. I get in the elevator and go up to the penthouse. I don't knock, I just quietly let myself inside. I'm met by Ace, holding his gun, aiming it down. He sees me and nods. He then points out a door to me. I assume I will find Jason on the other side of it.