*J* (the continuation)

Part Thirty-One: Chapter 230: Presumably

Jason's POV

I sat in the back seat, on the way home, chewing at my fingernails. My mind could only think of one thing. Could only process and comprehend one thing. J. I saw him there at the club tonight. I know I did. I knew I wasn't fucking crazy. Right? But why was I the only one who could see J? He was there. He was real. Wasn't he? But if he were real, Penguin would have seen him. Right? Was it just the drugs, like he said? This has never happened to me before. So what gives? Was it fucking real? Or was it just some fucked up side effect to taking too many drugs?

...drugs...

The Penguin's drugs were so strong. I've had plenty of pure cocaine and I've never been as high as I am right now. There was this sound in my ears, and it wouldn't go away. It started as a train, now it's more like a ringing sound. I could actually see my heart pounding in my chest. It's beating harder than it ever has before. To tell you the truth, Iwasn't sure if I should be going home, or to the nearest emergency room. Was I ok? Was I overdosing? Or am I just overly paranoid and panicking? What if this entire night is all just in my head?

I needed to come down. Yeah. That's what I needed, to just come down. Then, and only then, would I be able to answer any of the questions on my mind. I couldn't be rational right now. I just needed to go home and start drinking. I needed to drink until I puked or passed out, whichever came first. There was thorazine and morphine in the lab. Those were downers, they'd bring me down. Right? That seemed feasible to me. I was too up and needed to come back down. I knew I had to try.

When we got to the parking garage I had calmed down some. Frost open the back door and I got out. I straightened my suit and ran my hand through my hair. As I did, I caught a streak of green in my peripheral vision. I quickly looked, but I didn't see anything. I take a breath and tell myself to stop tripping. When we get inside the lobby I get into the elevator. Ace presses the button for the penthouse. I watch as the doors close. Just a moment before it closes, I fucking saw him again. I jump and suck in a quick breath.

Frost casts a glance at me, "Everything ok boss?" He asks me.

"D-did you see that?" I ask and point at the door.

"See what sir?" He shrugs. "Ace, did you see something?" He asks Ace. Ace shakes his head and shrugs. "Boss, what did you see?" Frost asks as his hand rests on his gun. He's at full alert, ready for trouble.

My lips part, but what could I say? "Nevermind. It was nothing I'm sure." Frost slowly brings his hand away from his gun and straightens his jacket.

I stormed into the penthouse and went straight to the lab. I start rummaging around for the thorazine and morphine. I soon find them and pull out a hypodermic needle. I fill the syringe, half thorazine, half morphine. I hold it in my teeth and quickly take off my jacket. Then I quickly roll my sleeve up. I aim the needle over my bicep. But I hesitate. I think of how high I got tonight. Oddly enough, I hadn't done much. I think it going straight in my bloodstream is what made such a significant difference.

So I lower the needle away from my bicep. I look down to the bend of my arm. I could see the tiny red dot where the Penguin had shot me up. I put the tip of the needle into the dot. I used it like a bullseye. I knew I was in the right spot when I saw my blood turn the clear liquid bright red. So I shoved down on the plunger and delivered the medication into my vein. It was warm, and soon, every part of me felt warm. As I pulled the needle out I could feel a powerful tug behind my eyes. A minute later I was falling catatonic.

When I stood my body swayed. My steps were heavy and I could feel them practically dragging the floor. I was no longer up, that I was a hundred percent positive of. I was crashing back down to earth at an alarming rate. So much so that I hope I can make it to my bed. In the hallway I have to use the wall as a crutch to hold myself up. I even have to pause once to rest my weary eyes. I almost fall flat on my face as I open my bedroom door. I somehow recover, but every step toward the bed felt like a mile. When I reach it I just face plant into it. I roll onto my back, and that's it, I'm out.