The Joker pulls up outside of a toy store in Russia. Now normally that would sound like a set up for some sort of tragedy. But not today. The Joker pulls out his phone and hits record on a video in selfie mode. He raises the camera up high, until his smiling face is centered.
"Good morning Jackson!!! Today is a very special day for you! Today daddy, that's me, is taking you for your first shopping spree! Of course you're not here, because you aren't born yet! But Uncle Ace is here, say hello Uncle Ace," he turns the camera on Ace.
Ace smiles and waves, "Hello Jackson!"
The camera turns back to the Joker, "Now at this present time daddy can't go shopping as daddy. I have to blend in," he reaches into his pocket and pulls out flesh tone paint and some pink lipstick and holds them up so they can be seen, "So daddy's going to hand off the camera to Uncle Ace while he puts on his makeup right quick," he says handing his phone to Ace, who films the Joker.
"Hopefully you won't ever need to do this son," the Joker says as he starts to smooth paint over his skin with his white fingertip. "I guess a good place to start would be to explain to you why daddy doesn't look like everyone else. A long time ago daddy fell into a vat of chemicals, kinda more like acid... anyway, it bleached my skin, turned my hair green, and made my lips this lovely stop sign red color. We don't exactly know what you will come out looking like. See the chemicals in daddy are actually coded into my DNA. Which means daddy will pass on some to you. But because mommy's DNA is normal, it ensures you won't look quite like daddy. But if you are more like daddy, well there's nothing wrong with that. Different doesn't have to be bad. Don't ever let anyone tell you that it is."
Ace turns the camera on himself, "Your old man definitely doesn't have a problem scoring," he grins and turns the camera back on the Joker.
The Joker smirks as he continues to smooth out the paint on his face, covering the white skin. "Thank you Uncle Ace, but that's irrelevant today. Today we're focusing on buying a few... Ok, probably more than a few things for you Jackson. My son will never get the chance to say, 'daddy buy me that', because you see daddy will always be two steps ahead of you my son. But anyhow, I'm going to start with the necessities of course. Rattles, teething rings, etcetera, etcetera... But of course daddy is all about finding you lots of fun things too."
Ace turns the camera on himself again, "Yeah, but I think we are at the wrong kind of toy store for that much fun," Ace winks.
"Ace, now now," the Joker wags his finger at Ace, "We'll go to the big boy toy store in the future. Today we're focusing on things for newborns and perhaps up to six months of age. For God's sake, he can't come out with you expecting him to hold a damn gun." The Joker's hand quickly covers his mouth, "Ooops, daddy's going to have to work on his language, isn't he?"
"Maybe more than just the cursing J," Ace can be heard saying in the background as he records the Joker applying the pink lipstick.
The Joker glares at him sideways, "Rome wasn't built in a day Ace. How do I look? Too glossy? I'm going for a matte finish, not simi-gloss. Fan me so I dry faster." Ace's hand can be seen fanning air at the Joker's face. "I hope you're taking note son of the lengths I go to for you," the Joker sighs and pulls on a brown wig. "Ok. Shall we Uncle Ace?" The Joker asks as he pulls on a pair of gloves to hide his white hands.
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