"I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR DICK OFF WITH A SPOON!!!!!" Alexis screams out at the Joker as another dibilitating contraction hits her.
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"My love, I realize you're in an enormous amount of pain, but let's not say things we don't mean right now. We don't want Jackson coming into the world with mommy and daddy fighting, now do we?" The Joker calmly says patting Alexis's hand, despite the fact she was squeezing his almost hard enough to break it. On the surface he stays calm and keeps his 'Joker under pressure' wits about him. He's on duty after all. He's a man protecting his future wife and son. Therefore, his situational awareness is on it's A game. But under the surface, the expectant father is going out of his mind with the worrying 'what ifs'. He couldn't lose Jackson. Not when he'd made it this far and to term.
"I WANT DRUUUUUGS!!!"
"Dearest, they already explained to you that Jackson is coming fast. It's too late to administer the drugs," the Joker explains for the fifth time as he takes in every move of every person in the room.
"THAT'S BULLSHIT!!! WHY THE FUCK IS IT TOO LATE?!?!?!"
"I don't fully understand that one myself pumpkin, but surely there must be a perfectly good reason for making you suffer this way. How about this, after Jackson gets here and you've gotten a little bit of rest, we do some getting even? Won't that be fun sweety?" The Joker says. In his voice it was obvious that his mind was elsewhere.
"DON'T YOU PLACATE ME YOU CLOWN!!!"
"My sweet, I realize you're in an enormous amount of pain, but there's really no need to cuss me like that," the Joker sighs, trying to overlook his beloved calling him a dirty word like "clown".
"Bol'shoy tolchok," the doctor says as he hunches on a stool between Alexis's legs.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT USELESS SON OF A BITCH SAYING?!" Alexis howls out.
"Big push my darling, breathe," the Joker nods and tries to coach her through her breathing exercises.
"SHOVE THAT BREATHING SHIT UP YOUR ASS J!!!"
The doctor looks up at the Joker, "Koronatsiya rebenka, khochesh' posmotret'?"
The baby was crowning. The Joker is given the option to get a look for himself. He thinks it over carefully. Yes, he would love to see the top of his son's head. However, he doesn't want to see it in Alexis's stretched out vagina. Truth be told, it would be emasculating to him. What if he felt like his dick could never satisfy her again after something the size of a baby's head had been in its place? So the Joker politely holds up his hand and shakes his head no.
"Eto ne budet neobkhodimo," he tells the doctor.
"WOULD YOU TWO STOP WITH THE CHITCHATTING AND GET THIS THING OUT OF ME?!"
"Khorosho, yeshche odin bol'shoy tolchok,"
"Ok sweetheart, he says it's time to push again," the Joker lovingly strokes Alexis's forehead and deals with the pain she's inflicting on his hand by squeezing it.
