The Line Between Living and Dying

Apologies

Dani sat on the edge of her brother's desk at the precinct. She stared at her feet as she waited for Zander to show up.

His voice grabbed her attention and she looked up, seeing Zander walk into the office area with Barry.

"Dani, what are you doing here? I thought you had work." Zander tilted his head.

"I called in sick." Dani stood up.

"Why? Is something wrong?" Zander asked.

Dani took a shaky breath. "Can we talk?" She glanced at Barry. "In private?"

"Yeah, yeah." Zander dropped a file onto his desk. "We can talk about the evidence later."

Barry nodded. "Yeah."

Zander followed his sister to the back alley. "What's wrong?"

Dani turned to face him. Tears were already falling down her face. "Caitlin called me today with my blood test results... I can't die."

"But isn't that a good thing?" Zander questioned.

"No, it's not a good thing Zander!" Dani shouted. "I died the night the particle accelerator exploded and I get to live a long healthy life while Mom is rotting in the ground!"

"Dani, that's not your fault."

"That doesn't stop me from feeling guilty. I shouldn't be standing here right now but I am because I was lucky." Dani ran her fingers through her hair, sliding down the wall across from her brother.

Zander sighed, sitting down beside her. "You know what Mom would say if she was here?"

"What?" Dani sniffled.

"She'd say that it wasn't luck. The universe wanted you to have these powers-- to do something with them instead of feeling sorry and focusing on the 'what ifs'."

Dani sat for a moment, soaking in her brother's words. "Thank you." She whispered.

"Anytime, sis." Zander hugged Dani.

After a few moments, Dani and Zander went back inside. They said goodbye and went their separate ways; Zander to his desk and Dani to the elevator.

Just as the doors were almost closed, a hand slipped through the crack. The doors slid back open and none other than Barry Allen entered.

Dani cursed to herself. Of course, she would be so unlucky that she would get stuck riding in an elevator with Barry. Alone.

"Hey, Dani." Barry awkwardly stood next to the brunette.

"Hey." Dani kept her eyes straight. She wanted nothing more than to leave that elevator right then and there but she couldn't use her powers.

"Look, I'm sorry about the other night. I-I was stressed over work and Iris was already talking to me about the Streak but I shouldn't have said that you were seeing things. Or accuse you of being drunk." Barry apologized.

Dani turned to her friend. "Thank you."

"So, friends again?" Barry asked hopefully.

Dani laughed at his dorky and hopeful grin. "Yeah. Friends again." She nodded.

Barry rocked back on his heels in content. "So, where ya going?"

"I'm going to visit my mom." Dani bit her lip.

"Right. I heard about what happened. I'm sorry." Barry offered his condolences.

"Don't be." Dani shook her head. "The past six months all I've heard was 'I'm sorry. There's no reason for you to be sorry. It's not like you gave her cancer."

"Cancer?" Barry furrowed his eyebrows. He hadn't heard that part of the story.

Dani slowly nodded. "Yeah."

The elevator dinged. Dani stepped out, then suddenly turned around. "Hey, you were still in a coma during her funeral."

"Yeah, I was," Barry agreed with a little confusion in his words.

"Why don't you come with me?" Dani questioned.

"Uh, I don't know, Dani."

"Oh, come on. I know how my mom was, she treated you like her own son and you didn't get to say goodbye."

Barry contemplated for a few moments before giving in. "All right. I'll come."

"Good." Dani smiled. "I hope you're fine with walking."

* * *

The next hour was filled with Dani and Barry reminiscing about their childhood and Dani catching Barry up on the latest news as they walked to the cemetery.

"You know, I never really understood cemeteries and graveyards. I mean, it's literally a yard full of dead bodies and extravagant name tags." Dani commented as they walked.

"That's a pretty morbid way of looking at it." Barry let out an airy laugh.

"It's true!" Dani defended, shoving Barry playfully. "Look, I know that it's supposed to give the family a sense of closure but after a few decades, it's pointless."

"Then why didn't you cremate Marianne?" Barry asked, curiosity evident in his tone.

"My dad and brother didn't want to." Dani shrugged.  "Besides, she probably wanted to be buried, becoming one with the earth and all that."

"I forgot how spiritual your mom was."

"Yeah." Dani agreed.

The two walked the rest of the way in silence. When they finally got to the cemetery, Dani stopped walking. The air around her seemed to change.

"Are you okay?" Barry furrowed his eyebrows.

"Yeah." Dani nodded, ignoring the odd feeling. "Come on." She led Barry deep into the cemetery where a simple and elegant headstone read 'Marianne Carola Rhodes'. "This is it."

"I don't know what to say." Barry shrugged after a few minutes of him and Dani staring at the engraved granite.

"Then think something." Dani offered. She smiled at Barry's confused face before clarifying, "My mom used to say that if you didn't have the words for your emotions then think it. The message will still be shared."

"Ah." Barry nodded. "So what do you think?"

"I think about all of my favorite memories with her and how many milestones I'll have to go through without her. Then I make a promise, to her and myself, that I'll get through it with the same strength I've seen her possess my entire life."

Barry took in Dani's words, the promise part sticking out to him. He turned to the headstone, silently promising Marianne that he would take care of Dani for her. Even if it was just as friends.

"You're a lot like her, you know," Barry said out of nowhere.

"What do you mean?" Dani gave her friend a confused look.

"The way you see the world." Barry clarified. "It's very similar to how your mom saw it... And you just act like her in general."

"Thanks." Dani wiped away the tears that threatened to spill. "I didn't know how much I needed to hear that until now."

Barry smiled, giving Dani a comforting hug. Then his phone rang. "Sorry, I got to take this." He stepped away, answering his call.

A few moments later and he was right by Dani's side again. "I got to go. Work stuff." Barry lied.

"That's fine. Go." Dani told him.

"See you later?" Barry had already started walking away.

"Of course," Dani promised.

Barry turned, walking out of the cemetery. Dani watched him go sadly. She had no idea how much she missed Barry until that moment. He nearly always knew what to say and cheer her up; no matter her mood.

Too bad everything was going to change.