~ HIS ANGEL BOY SERIES, BOOK 1 ✔ ~
"Don't try to fool yourself into thinking you didn't feel anything, Leto."
"I don't have to fool myself as I don't feel anything for you."
"Don't lie, don't make me do something I might regret."
"I doubt a creature...
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~Jay~
Sitting in the cafeteria with Tal on one side and Manon on the other, I try my hardest to concentrate on eating my lunch, all the while I feel his eyes on me from across the table.
It has been about two weeks since I was attacked by his maker and two weeks since he asked me to officially be his, ever since it happened he has constantly been by my side, making sure that I am ok, at this very moment I know he is trying to make me look up so that he can inspect my face.
But I cannot give him an answer, I cannot give him the answer that he wants. I don't even know what my answer would be if I were to really think about it, so I've been avoiding him.
"Earth to Jay?"
I jump as I feel Tal's bony elbow in my ribs, she is raising her eyebrows at me, expecting some kind of answer from me.
"What were you saying?"
She huffs loudly as she sets her fork down on her plate, she then turns to me fully, really looking into me, knowing that she will ask me what is wrong and I won't be able to come up with an answer.
Once again.
"What's going on with you lately? Just because Leto isn't here anymore it doesn't mean you can just fade into the background. Tell me JJ, even Cairo here keeps giving me weird looks and can clearly pick up something off of you that isn't right. You aren't even laughing anymore, you don't complain anymore, what happened?"
I bite my lip as I avoid her gaze, under the table I feel his foot gently bump against my own, trying to make me look at him, all this time I have been thinking that I can just fade away, fake smile and nod in the right places, hoping that they'll stop noticing me all together.
The truth is I don't really know what is wrong, maybe it was because my Mother didn't love me enough or it is because I am a failure at everything that I do.
So I look up at her, slap a fake smile on, take a deep breath, kick his foot away under the table and form up a lie that will be good enough to believe.
"I think it's just stress Tal, I wouldn't be worried."
The three of them just stare at me and somehow I think they know I am lying, they know that no matter what I will try my best to make sure that the needs of others will always be put before the needs of my own.
Finishing my food off, I excuse myself to the bathroom and I sense their eyes on my back as I walk away, feel his cold aura leave my presence the more I walk away.
After relieving myself, I zip up and then walk over to the sink and wash my hands, as I wash them I look up at myself in the mirror and see a boy whose eyes look like they've lived beyond their years, this boy can't possibly be me.
Finishing washing my hands I turn off the tap and then head over to the hand dryer, and for a brief moment I close my eyes, letting myself relax as I feel the warm heat of the dryer all around me.
