~ HIS ANGEL BOY SERIES, BOOK 1 ✔ ~
"Don't try to fool yourself into thinking you didn't feel anything, Leto."
"I don't have to fool myself as I don't feel anything for you."
"Don't lie, don't make me do something I might regret."
"I doubt a creature...
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~Leto~
'when the crying sobs wracked with pain finally cease they open the gateway to entrapping numbness and honestly I can't say if I would rather have the horrendous pain or the ghostly numbness'
-'pain to numbness' by Dustyn Smith on hellopoetry.com
~
Darkness.
Behind closed eyes there is only darkness, a darkness that has always been half of my soul- the half darkness of myself that I chose.
What a fools choice.
I must have known that choosing for myself to be only half dark would eventually engulf me, how could I ever think I could handle both?
Rolling around in the sheets of my bed, being alone with only my thoughts and her body for company, I know she is starting to really decompose, I know that she can't stay in my bed with me but I really can't bring myself to ask for help.
The smell is too much.
Turning away from her body, I look up to see Freddie and Enzo through the gap of the door, they seem to be having a conversation I haven't got the energy to listen to.
I don't know how long it has been since I bought her home, I don't know how long I have been laying next to her, I don't know anything right now.
I miss Freddie.
On that day I bought her back here he tried to come in our bedroom and comfort me, I don't know why I did it but I made him leave, I made him leave me when I knew more than anything that he wanted to be by my side.
I am so fucking selfish.
Everytime I think of her a raw pain tears my insides apart and I can't breathe, I can't even get up let alone talk to anyone.
An ache starts to take form in my bones, knowing what it means but being the coward I am, I can't reach out to him, I can't do it.
Turning back over to check on her, I have noticed after all this time that her body is starting to rot into the bedsheets, her skin looking almost see through, her body looking like it might explode.
Moving to get to my feet, I go over to the door, peering through the gap to take a closer look at my boyfriend, he looks dreadful, I've never seen him look so bad, he is talking to Enzo in hushed tones.
Watching his face, I notice that his eyes are watery and his lips chapped, something inside of me wants to pull open the door and cling to him.
"...how long has it been now, huh? I can't just fucking leave him in there with a decomposing body, it could be harmful to him, I need to do something."
