~ HIS ANGEL BOY SERIES, BOOK 1 ✔ ~
"Don't try to fool yourself into thinking you didn't feel anything, Leto."
"I don't have to fool myself as I don't feel anything for you."
"Don't lie, don't make me do something I might regret."
"I doubt a creature...
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~Freddie~
'I give you my all
But sometimes it's like I'm talking to a brick wall
You're so afraid you're gonna fall
But don't you see I'm here to catch you
You never seem to hear
All you do is fear
You're a brain washed something of a person
You're thoughts are just a whirl
You can't get yourself together
Love the ones who ignore you
Ignore the ones who love you
That's all you do
It's nothing new'
-'frustration' by Kara Ashley from hellopoetry.com
~
I don't quite understand what is going on, from the events that have happened since I heard that noise outside of Leto and I's bedroom and to learn that Manon has gone missing, the atmosphere in the bunker has been rather interesting.
It has been two days since that phone call from Tallulah and we all learnt of Manon's dissappearence, Cairo has been doing a pretty good job of keeping Jay stable, Tallulah has been giving my brother way too many meaningful glances and the one person who should be the most distraught about this is not showing any sign of it bothering him.
Leto has been difficult to read, his mind unusually closed to me, but yet when I ask if he is ok or try to give him some comfort, he just smiles his usual brush off smile, lays his hand on my chest and then walks away while I am left alone all frowning.
Fuck.
I hate the fact that even after this half of a year together, I still can't fucking understand him when his mind is elsewhere, it makes me feel so estranged from him and so fucking useless that it almost wants me to grab him by the shoulders and force him to tell me what is wrong with him.
But I have been reminding myself not to become that asshole Freddie again, reminding me of the promise I made to him that I would never force him to do anything he doesn't want to do ever again, so because of this I will not break my promise to him.
Triple fucking fuck.
I wish I knew what to do, I wish I could make it all better, to make him smile with meaning again, to bring that spark back into his eyes, to see him laugh again.
"What's eating Freddie Turner?"
Bringing me with a start back into the present, I am sat in the living room surrounded by ashtrays filled up with cigarette butt ends, the room so filled up with smoke I can barely see the person standing in front of me.
