What if...? || Markhyuck

-14-

[august 2019]

[donghyuck]

For a disgraceful trip two weeks ago ended in a rickety car, I paid a slight cold. I have easily caught various infections since I was a child, I was also expecting it. Convalescent leave was not an option here, so despite the remainder of the sickness, I stood calmly before entrance to work and smoked with Steven the last cigarette before all this shit will began.

"We'll get new software for testing today," he finally said when we were both in half of our cigarettes.

"Will we exchange everything?" I asked. Steven confirmed.

"The end of the quarter is approaching," he explained. "Everything must always be new at the end of the quarter."

"When do we have to deal with this?"

"Preferably until the end of September," he muttered, looking at the sky thoughtfully. "But if we do it in October, nothing will happen either."

"It would be better if it was thoroughly checked in total than quickly and sucked" I agreed. There was no rush.

"Exactly".

We usually didn't talk much. We didn't talk but we felt good in silence without that conversation. Silence between us has never been awkward. There were no deeper feelings or commitments between us. We just worked together. Only so much and as much at a time.

It only became awkward when Minhyung joined us. Although maybe it was only me who saw the atmosphere after his arrival this way. He was holding a briefcase in hand and coming out from basement, so I could successfully suspect that I won't have anything to do with him today.

"Hi," he greeted Steven, completely ignoring me. I smiled under breath.

"Hi," Steven answered simply, not even looking at him closely. I kept silent. And in such changed silence we stood still because Steven pulled out a second cigarette to keep Minhyung company in addiction.

With Mark the matter was really strange and awkward. Once he talked to me normally and once he completely ignored. There were days when he was nice and days when he pretended that I don't exist - just like today. Sometimes he would tease me verbally and sometimes he would make it clear to me that I was pissing him off and I should shut up. He could be calm and interested in what I am currently doing but there were also days when he behaved aggressively towards me and each crossing of the border could end my life with head banged against the wall. To sum up - Minhyung behaved quite bipolarly, as if he had not fully decided in his mind about taking over the communication strategy between us.

As if he hadn't decided who we are to each other.

As if he hadn't decided whether we should be anything to each other at all.

"I'll wait downstairs," I finally whispered to Steven, feeling ill in this quiet triangle.

"Wait," Minhyung said suddenly in his disapproval intolerant tone. I looked at him questioningly and he let out the last puffs of smoke from his lungs and crushed the rest of the cigarette into the pebbles under our feet. "You're coming with me, come on," he added, waving at me with hand in which he held the briefcase.

"But where do you want to go?" I was surprised, still standing firmly next to Steven, as if a man were to save me from being forced into execution.

"You'll see there," he sighed heavily as walked towards his car. I gave Steven a bemused look.

"If you want, you can go," he whispered, smiling under breath.