What if...? || Markhyuck

-x-

[1 year earlier]

[minhyung]

"Minhyung, I see what's going on," a psychiatrist told me at an individual meeting in her office. "Your simulation is pointless," she shook head sideways. "You're getting better, so we'll be discussing your discharge in the days," she decided, letting me know that I had nothing to say. They consider me cured, although I don't feel any difference. They discharge me, although I still don't feel anything.

Walking with the nurse down the corridor, I began to wonder if there is anything else I can do. If I killed her, the difference would be to get a transfer to prison for the mentally ill. That's out. It seemed to me that I had done everything in my power over the last weeks. The options simply ran out.

I leaned my shoulder against the wall, watching the woman clumsy with the key at the lock. She was new and definitely too stressed. During our three-minute walk, she made a lot of mistakes that someone who was really mentally ill would have used againt her a long time ago. When she finally opened the door, she stopped without saying a word.

"Dear Lord," she whispered finally, taking a step back, then started running towards the direction we came from. I looked after her with a sour expression, as if she qualified to swap places with me and started going toward the entrance. Very quickly, however, I stood in the doorway, looking empty into the space.

Through the eyes of the nurse I saw a hanging patient, completely separating myself from the thought that this patient was my roommate and lover for so long.

I was looking at the young boy with a mask on face, who was hanging on a window grille with a sheet around his neck.

I was looking and before my empty eyes were passing all the signals that suggested that this day might come.

Luke's behavior, his words, attitude, change of mood.

I could have foreseen it but I didn't.

I didn't want to do that.

I snorted under breath, smiling slightly.

Empty promises.

As always.

"I won't leave you."

"You won't have a choice."

Immediately I felt weak and whole world dropped out from under me.