What if...? || Markhyuck

-41-

[december 2020]

[minhyung]

I slowly pushed the photo box into the large carrying case with things I wanted to get rid of. I cleaned office of everything that reminded me of how hopeless I was and how much harm I could do. I deleted anything that reminded me I was a monster. The monster I no longer wanted to be. I added to it all the blasted whiskey that dirtied my carpet that last unfortunate libation. I sighed heavily, concluding that giving up alcohol just in case wouldn't be a bad choice either.

"Hey, can I?" Suddenly I heard Hyuck's uncertain voice from the doorway.

"Sure," I muttered. "Why are you stupidly asking?" I was surprised, at which the boy just shrugged. He walked slowly to the couch and sat on it with a heavy sigh. I watched him go and resumed my activity. Brunet, however, only looked ahead with a pensive face and didn't say a word for the next few minutes. He had been a bit weird in general since the staff eve and it's been a week now. "What's up, Hyuckie?" I asked urgently, shuffling papers in a drawer. I hated when he acted like this, as if he was about to tell me he was coming back to Seth or we had to part ways for a while. These were the only thoughts that came to my mind when Hyuck stood in front of me with that face.

"Minhyung..." he began hesitantly, as if didn't quite know what he wanted to communicate to me. I just hoped it wasn't something emotionally heavy. It is true that I was making some progress in this regard but it was rather continuous and slow progress, not a sharp one. "I guess I'm jealous," Donghyuck blurted out suddenly, staring at me as if he didn't believe it himself either.

"What?" I asked stupidly, still processing what he said. I frowned. "Of who?" I asked, not fully understanding his concern.

"Well, of you," Hyuck said almost irritably, as if blamed me for not being able to figure out a lot of things. "Who else would I be? Are you my guy or the guy at the kiosk around the corner? "

"Relax, sweetheart," I laughed, resting arms on the cardboard. In a non-quarrel situation, pissed off Hyuck was incredibly funny. "I just don't understand why. That's it," shrugged. Lee sighed once more, hugging the pillow that lay on the couch to him.

"Because you see..." he began hesitantly. "It's about that Hunter..." he muttered and I started laughing out loud. I shook head in disbelief. "It's not funny, Mark Lee," the boy scolded me for frivolous attitude. "He really finds you attractive."

"And so what about that, baby?" I asked, still amused. "Let it go, we won't stop it anyway," I rolled eyes. Hunter was my least concern these days. Donghyuck was making a mountain out of a molehill.

I was more concerned about what we talked at the Christmas gathering a while ago. It was a matter of fact that when I came across this kid with eyes, I remembered that he was in my office on the day of disgraceful and humiliating alcoholic libation. Much memory of that evening was covered in a thick cap of unconsciousness. But I knew that I wasn't very nice to him. Of course, Donghyuck had to turn it all into a joke and start an endless merry-go-round about my emotional coldness and the fact that no one is as warm and subtle as I am. 

Well, now he served one right. 

Apparently my good heart was able to attract some very stray and very disturbed soul. At least Lee saw it that way. I didn't care a bit about that. I was more concerned that I wasn't saying anything stupid about Marco, about the company and especially about my private life. If our relationship with Hyuck came to light, the damage caused by it was beyond estimation for the two of us. This kind of unknown killed any peace of mind and provided sleepless nights.