What if...? || Markhyuck

-22-

[may 2020]

[donghyuck]

I watched the sleeping Minhyung from a safe distance, leaning arm on the door frame. Despite all efforts, my breathing was not at all steady. Only the arms crossed over chest seemed to hold this stupid heart somehow. I could barely stop the need to check every now and then if this situation really takes place in the real world. I studied the facial features of the boy with bated breath.

Half a year.

Half a year.

I haven't seen him that much time.

The changes that took place in him were drastic in their own way. He seemed so fragile and vulnerable to me now. I didn't remember him that way at all. That Mark exuded confidence, insolence and a mysterious, brutal force. Lee's eyes were challenging. Every gesture was saturated with immorality. Now his face was paler than before and under his eyes unhealthy bruises appeared as a result of chronic fatigue. Even the very look lost its perverse glow, as if all emotions decided to hide somewhere deep in the heart and not go out anymore.

I began to wonder what had really happened to him in this Canada. He just looked terrible. Emaciated as a scarecrow, lifeless, indifferent, fearful. He was slowly wandering around, embracing the apartment with a wild look that turned into faded indifference when he finally sat down in the armchair away from me. We kept a safe distance throughout the day, not exchanging even the smallest words with each other. I didn't know what to say to him, what to ask him so that it wouldn't be awkward. If I were to be honest, we never really talked to each other before. Our relationship from the beginning was something absurd with non-crystallized foundations.

It looked like this from the very beginning.

Strangers.

I looked at the bandage wrapped around my hand. It confirmed that Lee's presence was not just another strange dream, a figment of my wild imagination. However, if it turned out differently, I wanted to stay in this delusion. I waited too long for the boy's arrival to give him a simple way to leave now.

I finally closed the bedroom door, leaving Minhyung alone with his dreams. I was hoping he wouldn't have a nightmare. He looked like a man who needed hours of rest to catch up on all those previously lost. Also, I had to call Steven finally. I wanted to ask for clarification because in the current situation I fully deserved it.

I went out onto the porch at the back of the house, colliding with the warm, stuffy air of a soon-to-be-summer night. In such a place I would like to spend my vacation someday. Away from the hustle and bustle, surrounded by nature, cut off from work. It wasn't possible yet. There was always something going on in my life and gloomy thoughts didn't leave me alone for a second.

I finally dialed Steven's number, leaning elbows on the railing. The man picked up after a few rings, probably wondering whether to receive the call from me at all. He's always had a phone on his ass, like all of us. It was impossible when someone called and the other party was silent.

"Yes?" he started uncertainly.

"What's the matter with him?" I asked bluntly. I didn't care now why Mark was sent here, what we should do together or how to lead this task. I was more worried about Lee's health, the tragic pallor of his face and the thinning of his body.

"I don't know. He was like that when I picked him up at the airport," he said evasively but wasn't lying. At most, he planned to pass over some facts.