115: 2020

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I didn't know how to describe being a parent, I had only been one for a few hours and the whole thing didn't feel real, not yet

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I didn't know how to describe being a parent, I had only been one for a few hours and the whole thing didn't feel real, not yet. I was in labour for fourteen hours, and now I have no idea how I had managed it because I was so tired. Giving birth was something strange to go through but no matter what pain I had felt, it all disappeared as soon as I was handed my baby.

Sam and I had been very cautious with the entire pregnancy, scared that if we said something wrong then something bad would happen and so when the baby was finally born, we felt slightly relaxed that everything was fine but then were now more stressed because we had a baby to look after. There were several names that we had liked before today but now we had chosen one that had just seemed perfect and I was so glad that I was able to have a life like this.

My husband was beside me the entire time, trying to make me laugh with his impressions which hadn't worked because I was in so much pain but I appreciated how hard he worked on making me happy. In that moment, I realised how lucky I was to be married to such an amazing guy; what had I done to be rewarded with a man like him? Somehow, I had married him and now we were starting our own family together and it just seemed like a dream.

"I love you so much."

I looked up, seeing Sam staring at me. I was holding the baby, all wrapped up in the little blanket that we had bought, sleeping against my chest. Sam was sat on the edge of the bed, watching us and we had been sat there for hours. Just enjoying this time as a little family of three, a peaceful time as we adjusted to the new life that we were going to live.

"I love you too." I whispered, scared to wake the baby if we spoke too loudly.

"I didn't think that I could love you more than I already did but you proved me wrong. You were so strong, and I'm so proud of you and I love you even more than before, now that you've brought our child into the world."

I wiped a tear from my cheek, Sam could be romantic when he wanted to be and I was glad when he showed me that side of him. This was the perfect moment and nothing could change the way that I felt right now. We both leaned closer and pressed our lips against each other, enjoying our little moment before the creak of the door pulled us apart.

"How are you doing?" Dad asked, knocking on the door and poking his head around the side of it. "Are you okay for some visitors?"

Sam and I glanced at each other before nodding, knowing that the entire day was going to be full of visitors but we were starting off with family. Dad and Emma carried in some balloons and the car seat that we had bought but hadn't brought because this birth had been a surprise. I thanked them because we needed it for when we were leaving the hospital otherwise the baby wouldn't get home safely. The boys jumped onto the bed, being careful of me and the new-born as they introduced themselves one at a time; talking about how excited they were about having a new addition to the family. When they left, Sam's parents and siblings came in with gifts and each got a snuggle with the baby. And then we spent a few minutes with Sue, thanking her for letting us use the limo to get to the hospital; if it wasn't for her then I could have been giving birth on the side of the road somewhere.

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