Your idol was my exlover

Chapter 12

Krisha's pov

Day 6 in korea: Hurt (Continuation)

"Wag...wag kang lumapit saakin" I said habang umiiyak

I tried not to cry but my tears won't cooperate. Damn this tears.

"B-bakit?" tanong niya

"Dahil baka hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong yakapin ka" bulong ko

"Then hug me Krish, hug me."

I looked at him, mas lalo akong nasaktan sa ng makita ang mga luhang tumulo sa mata niya.

Why are you crying?

"I can't"

"Why?"

I didn't answer him, I looked away and wipe my tears again pero wala ring kwenta.

"It hurts so much Jah, sobrang sakit dito" turo ko sa puso ko "it hurts so much to see you every fucking day, you don't know how much I tried to fake my smile infront of you and the others. You don't know how much I badly want to run to you and hug you. You don't know how much I hurt to... to be with you"

Napaupo ako sa buhangin dahil sa panghihina ng tuhod ko. Tumingin ako sa dagat na tanging dilim nalang ang makikita and start crying again.

"Sa tingin mo ba hindi ako nasasaktan?" wika niya

Umiling ako.

"Ha" singhal niya, hindi makapaniwala

Hindi ako makatingin sakaniya kaya tumulala lang ako sa kadiliman.

"Nasasaktan din ako K-krish" barag ang boses na wika niya

Tumingin ako sakaniya at nagulat ng makitang umiiyak pala ito ng mahina para hindi ko marinig, he tried to wipe his tears but they don't stop from falling in his eyes.

Naramdaman ko nanaman ang pag kirot ng puso ko. I don't want to see him crying again.

I hate my self for hurting him again, I hate my self to see him crying again because of me.

Umupo siya sa tabi ko at tumingin din sa harap na walang makita kundi ang madilim na paligid. Hindi ko inalis ang tingin ko sakaniya.

"You don't know how badly I want to hug you every day, you don't know how badly I want to kiss you" he stopped and looked at me "You don't know how badly I want to be with you, to be with you again and say I miss you and I love you."

Umiwas ako ng tingin, ito nanaman ang mga luha kong patuloy sa pag bagsak sa mata ko.

Natahimik kami ng ilang minuto at siya din ang bumasag.

"Bakit mo ako iniwan nun?" he asked

I looked at him, nakatingala siya.

I smiled bitterly.

"Iniwan kita para matupad mo ang pangarap mo, to become a singer and to perform on stage with your fans."

He didn't talk so I just continued talking.

"I want you to become what you want, ayoko maging hadlang sa pangarap na gusto mong abutin."

Ramdam ko ang pag titig niya saakin.

"Bakit parang andali para sayo na iwan ako?" he asked

I know he's mad but his voice is still calm.

Napaawang ang bibig ko sa sinabi niya at tumingin sakaniya ng hindi makapaniwala.

Akala ba niya madali saakin yun?

"You think it easy for me to let you go?!" I shouted

Wala namang makakarinig saamin kaya ayos lang.