Every Reason Why

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

This is a stand-alone story but to avoid confusion and for a better reading experience, I suggest you read the preceding installments of the series.

Rugged Series #1: Every Step Away

Rugged Series #2: Every Missing Piece

Warning: This story contains some parts that are not suitable for young readers.  The contents of this story might also depict self-harm and suicide. Please read at your own risk.

Rugged Series 3: Every Reason Why

xxx

ERW0

Prologue

"That was a good one, Sey."

Ngumiti ako sa kaklase ko at muling umupo pabalik saaking upuan. Hindi ko alam kung pilit lang ba talaga nila ako kinukumbinsi. Alam kong hindi maayos ang ginawa ko. My hands are still shaking because of it. Nakakahiya. I can't even count how many times I did stutter in front. My knees are still weak and I feel so cold. I really hate having to face people.

I don't even know why they are this good to me even if I don't really talk to them. Tahimik ko muling binuksan ang aking sketch pad at nagsimula muling gumuhit habang nagpe-present naman ang iba ko pang mga kaklase. I paid no attention to them, basta ako tapos na.

"Acquillas, Allen."

Kusang tumigil ang aking mga kamay noong narinig ang pangalang iyon. I watch him confidently stood up from his seat. Lahat ng mga nasa loob ng room ay pinapanood ang kilos niya. Sino nga naman bang hindi? He's Allen, for pete sake. Likas na ata sa pagkatao niya na makakuha ng atensyon kahit nasaan siya. He's a basketball varsity pero hindi pa rin niya napapabayaan ang kanyang pag aaral. He's every girl's dream guy.

I unconsciously start moving my pencil to draw him. Para tuloy akong naging multi-tasker dahil sa ginagawa ko. I'm staring at him, listening and drawing him. Binaba ko ang tingin ko saaking sketch pad at inayos ang buhok niya batay sa aking naaalala. Then I look at him again, memorizing his face and back to my drawing.

"Because that's what we all need, a home, a real home."

Napatigil ako sa ginagawa ko dahil sa sinabi niya bilang pagtatapos ng kanyang speech na sinundan ng cheer at malakas na palakpak ng mga kaklase namin. I watch him go back to his seat before I look at my drawing. It already has it's form, kulang nalang iyon ng detalye. Napangiti ako at umiling. I close my sketch pad and put down my pencil. Inilipat ko na lamang ang aking atensyon sa labas ng bintanang aking katabi lamang.

Before I knew it, our prof dismissed us. Pinanood ko pa siyang lumabas ng room bago ako tumayo at nag ayos ng gamit.

"Galing non, Allen!"

"That was a very great speech!"

I put my backpack on and look at their side, nakita ko si Allen na naghihintay sa bestfriend niyang nag aayos pa ng gamit at habang ginagawa iyon ay pinapalibutan siya ng mga babae naming kaklase.

Sometimes, a real home is not enough.

Gusto ko mang sabihin sa kanya iyon ay pakiramdam ko naman, hindi niya ako kilala kahit magkaklase kami sa ilang mga subject. Sino ba naman ako?

Tuluyan akong lumabas ng room.

"Hi, Sey!"

Nagulat ako noong pagkalabas na pagkalabas ko ay may bumati saakin. Tipid akong ngumiti para ibalik ang bati niya at tumalikod na. Minsan, hindi ko pa din maintindihan kung bakit binabati ako ng ibang mga tao dito sa school. Hindi ako kumportableng kausapin sila. Kaya kung magagawa kong hindi magparamdam sa buong araw, ginagawa ko.