Every Reason Why

ERW43

ERW43

I spent the whole day with Fire. I also decided to sleep on his condo. Umaga noong umuwi ako sa bahay kasama si Fire. Mama was very happy to see Fire walking on our doorsteps after more than a year of moving out of the house.

Maging ako ay masayang-masaya din dahil sa wakas ay magkakasabay na ulit kaming kumain. Pagkatapos noon ay naligo ako at nag-ayos. I checked everything that I packed on my luggage to make sure I'm not forgetting something.

Mama and Daddy said their goodbye and reminders for me before they went to work. Si Fire naman ang nagvolunteer na maghahatid saakin.

Habang naghihintay sa airport ay pinaglalaruan ko ang cellphone ko sa kamay ko. My hands are cold and my heart is beating so fast. Kinakabahan ako. Ang dami kasing what if na tumatakbo sa isip ko dahil ngayon lang ako nagdesisyon ng mag-isa at umalis din ng mag-isa.

I'm afraid of what I will encounter after I set myself out of my shell. I'm excited pero mas malaki pa din ang takot ko.

Huminga ako ng malalim. I made up my mind and turn on my phone. Hinanap ko ang pangalan ni Theo sa aking contacts habang kinakabahan pa din. Kanina ko pa kasi ito pinag-iisipan. I know we broke up but there's still something that's connecting us. Ayokong maranasan niya na naman iyong naranasan niya noon kay Thallia.

I'll just at least say a proper goodbye, right?

Ako:

Hey.

Napanguso ako noong hindi ako makatanggap ng text pabalik. He must be busy. It's a crucial time of the day.

Ako:

I'm leaving Philippines for a while, Theo.

Agad ko iyong binura. That doesn't sound right. Ano bang dapat sabihin? I tried typing some words again.

Aalis ako. Bye?

Hey, I'll be on a trip away from here.

Theo, I'll be away from some time.

Hi! I just want to inform you of－

Natigil ako sa pagtatype at pagbubura noong bigla na lang nawala ang cellphone ko sa kamay ko. My hand was left hanging.

"Tinatawag na flight mo." sabi ni Fire habang abala sa cellphone ko. Pinanood ko siyang magtipa doon bago niya ibinigay saakin iyon. He put my hand on the top on my luggage and he hugged me by his one arm.

"Take care... contact us, okay?" saad niya saakin bago ako pinakawalan at sinenyasan na maglakad na.

I was a little shocked but I managed to move. Binuksan kong muli ang cellphone ko habang naglalakad ako papalayo kay Fire.

Agad akong kinabahan at nagparte ang labi ko noong makita kong nagtype siya ng text kay Theo! Mabilis kong nilingon si Fire. Hindi ko mapigilang maramdaman ang inis ko!

He was laughing while waving his hand and signaling me to continue because I'm getting late. I hissed and glared at him. Wala akong choice kung hindi magpatuloy sa paglalakad. I groaned and shook my head when I look at my phone again.

Ako (na si Fire ang nagtype):

I'm bound to US. Bye. I love you.

It's making me cringe while walking! What the hell, Santiguel Fire! This is so cheesy! At wala akong balak mag-I love you! Inaasar niya ba ako?! I told him last night that we broke up!

Damn it!

It wasn't very easy. In fact, it was so hard. Simula noong bumaba ako sa eroplano ay natulala ako dahil nasa ibang lugar na talaga ako na mag-isa, walang alam sa kahit anong lugar na pupuntahan ko, hindi pamilyar sa mga tao o sa kahit anong nasa paligid ko.