Every Reason Why

ERW32

Trigger Warning: Self-harm

Please skip this chapter if you're not mentally prepared. Read at your own risk. Thank you!

xxx

ERW32

"Sey!"

Natigil ako sa paglalakad noong marinig ko ang tawag na iyon. I look back. Nakita ko si Allen na kumakaway saakin.

Pinilit kong ngumiti pabalik para batiin siya. He started walking towards me so I decided to walk going to him as well.

"I knew you'd be here."

Lumingon ako sa likod niya at sa paligid at hinanap kung may kasama ba siya.

"Si Hero?" tanong ko sa kanya.

Umiling siya saakin. "He didn't register to take the test. I think he wants to take NLE first..."

"Ah... sayang naman. Akala ko magkasabay kayo..." sabi ko at ngumiti sa kanya ng maliit.

Nagkaroon ako ng tsansa na titigan siya. It is the first time I saw him after our last talk. He looks the same. Iyong tipong isang tingin mo pa lang ay alam mo nang may ibubuga. He looks strikingly handsome still and oh... he got his hair cut.

It suits him. I'm happy he looks very fine.

"Kamusta sa loob?" tanong niya saakin.

Nasa gitna pa rin kami ng mga kasabay naming nag-take ng NMAT. Yes, we just finished taking our entrance exam for medical schools. After some months of reviews and hardship, it all went away after some hours of really taking the test.

My head felt so drained. Ang imaheng pumapasok sa utak ko kapag iniisip ko ang utak ko ay isang itim at upos na utak na kahit ang tubig ay magiging usok. Damn, NMAT took all my energy away.

"Don't ask me."

He chuckled.

"But it's fun, though..."

I horribly looked at him with my wide eyes. I can't believe I'm hearing a savage line from this man! I mean... that testing room felt like a hell! But how can this one say that it's fun?

"Allen, ikaw lang ata nag-enjoy..." burdened kong saad.

It's really weird to hear! Parang bang masaya siya sa paghihirap ng iba!

Hindi ko kasi alam kung makakakuha ako ng maayos na result. I really tried my best to review hard. Kahit sagad na sagad na ako ay tinulak ko pa rin ang sarili ko. I feel like I just don't need to reach the medical schools' cut-off score but more importantly, is to have the score my parents wanted me to have.

Narinig ko ang tawa niya kaya napabalik ang tingin ko sa kanya.

"Dapat talaga ay maging masaya tayo, Sey. It's done!"

Ngumuso ako. Tama naman siya. Sa wakas ay tapos na ang ilang buwan kong pinaghandaan. Ang problema nga lang... masyado na akong nalunod sa pagre-review kaya hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari saakin sa susunod na araw ngayon wala na akong ginagawa. And also... I still worry about the result.

Pakiramdam ko kasi hindi pa rin sapat iyong binigay kong effort.

"How are you, though? You look thinner..."

Ngumiti ako sa kanya. Nagsimula kaming maglakad papalabas.

"Busy kasi sa pagre-review."

"Now you have the chance to eat more dahil wala ka nang nire-review!"

Tumawa ako dahil sa kanyang sinabi. Hindi ko mapigilang hindi maramdaman ang naninikip kong dibdib. I'm so lucky to have Allen as a friend. Alam kong hindi man niya pinakita iyon noong huli naming pag-uusap, sinaktan ko siya ng todo. And here is now... still very friendly to the person who gave him false signs, lied to him, and betrayed him.