Every Reason Why

ERW26

ERW26

I maintained my eyes straight on his dark hooded eyes that amazingly looks very tender even with its natural harshness. Hindi rin naman niya binitawan ang pagkakatitig niya sa mga mata ko.

Ang ilalim ng mata ko ay parehas na nag-iinit katulad ng kung paano ko nararamdaman din ito sa parte ng dibdib ko.

"I will never be... t-the best girl that you can have..." mabigat ang paghinga ko noong nagsimula akong magsalita.

His forehead creased when he heard me said that. Sumimangot niya.

"I don't need you to be the best girl... I need you to be you."

I bit my lips to suppress my emotions.

"I'm a very big mess."

He chuckled and nodded. "What a beauty."

Nararamdaman ko pa rin ang kanyang hawak sa kamay ko kahit patuloy kong sinasabi ang alam kong makakapgpatigil sa kanya. Our knees are continuously touching because of our closeness.

"I always fail..." My voice broke. Dahil doon ay natigil ang paggalaw ng kamay niya sa mga kamay ko. Nag-igting ang kanyang mga panga habang pinapanood ako.

"But you tried. And you're trying, still... that's what matters more, baby." malambing niyang sagot saakin.

I nodded at him while my unshed tears are threatening to fall from my eyes. I sobbed my emotions.

"I have a lot of scars."

Ngumiti siya saakin. "Best warriors lives with the scars of their triumph."

Kusang tumulo ang luha ko habang pinapakinggan ang halos lahat ng sagot niya saakin. Bakit ba palagi siyang ganito magsalita? His words are always making its way directly from where my pain is coming from, gently trying to heal my wounds.

"I got a lot of sins..."

Tumawa ulit siya at ngumisi saakin. "Ako din... bagay tayo."

Pilit akong sumimangot sa kanya kahit halos tinutunaw na ako hindi lang ng mga mata niya kundi pati ang paraan niya ng pagsagot sa mga sinasabi ko.

"I am almost always consumed by my dark thoughts of..." I sighed deeply, contemplating if I would continue. "－killing myself." halos pabulong kong patuloy.

Muling nag-igting ang kanyang panga at nakita ko ang pagdilim ng kanyang mga mata. His hands gripped mine tightly.

"Don't... please don't..." ramdam ko ang magkakahalong pag-aalala, pagkabahala, at pagmamakaawa sa boses niya habang mahigpit na nakakapit sa kamay ko. "Please..." he whispered without even a low voice but only air.

Pinunasan ko ang aking basang pisngi dahil sa luha gamit ang libre kong kamay.

"But that's the truth..." I sobbed.

"Are you trying to discourage me, Zemira Fayre? Because I dare you now, it's not gonna work on me." matigas niyang saad saakin. Naramdaman ko ang pag-alis ng kanyang kamay sa pagkakahawak saakin bago niya iyon tinaas at pinalis ang luhang tumutulo sa pisngi ko.

"You like him too much huh? Kaya mo ba sinabi 'to para patigilin ako?" sunod niyang tanong saakin.

I smiled at him. Definitely not, Theo... because even though I fail on most things and I am still very naive of whatever I am in now, there is one sure thing that I know in my crowded mind.

That is you.

"I'm don't have anything I am really good at. I don't know what's really for me. I don't know if I can be someone useful for you."