Switch Series 1: Constantly Yours,

CHAPTER 65

One Last Mission (1)

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Crizelda D. Lopez

Parang batang nakupo si Chris sa harap ng puntod ng kaniyang ina. She layed a candle and chrysanthemum bouquet beside her mother's stone tablet. Mag iisang oras na syang nakaupo doon at nakatitig. She is wearing a black long sleeves shirt, black cargo pants and her combat boots.

It's already 3 o'clock in the afternoon and she's all alone with her passed away mother. Hindi nya alam kung bakit dito sya idinala ng kaniyang mga paa. Perhaps, she feels, she needed to see her mother. Isang araw matapos ang naging magpupulong nila kasama si Number 3, wala pa syang sinasagot dito. Dahil ayaw nyang maging makasarili.

She's thinking about her family, here. She has a family now. Will she leave them just like that? Gusto nyang sabihin ang nangyayari lalo na kay Bettina pero nahihiya naman syng magpakita dito. She know her guilt and Bettina has the right to be mad at her.

She misses Bettina. She misses Uno. She misses her family.

Chris look up and sigh before saying a word, "Ano po bang pwede kong itawag ko sa'yo? Mommy? Mama? Nanay?" aniya habang nakatitig sa lapida ng ina, "Kasi nalulungkot po ako, Ma."

Chris bite her lips as she run her fingers to her mother's stone tablet, looks like no one ever visit this person for a long time. That's makes her wonder even more.

"Hindi ko po alam yung gagawin ko." sabi nya at muling nagbuntong hininga, "Bakit mo ako tinapon? W-Why did you leave me so early? Why...do I have to be alone right now, Ma?" sunod sunod nyang tanong at pinigilang lumuha.

She feel her heart aches every time she ask a question and no one is answering her.

Chris plays her dogtag and continue, "Hindi ko man lang ikaw nakita ng buhay. Do you see me now from heaven? Pwede po bang humingi ako ng yakap? Kahit saglit lang po..." she beg and look up to heaven as her tears falls to her cheeks, "I-I need a mother right now...I-I need you..." she sobs a bit and wipe her tears away.

She shakes her head as her tears keeps falling from her eyes, "H-Hindi ko na po alam ang gagawin ko...I need your answer, Mama. What should I do? Hahanapin ko pa ba ang tatay ko? Dito nalang ba ako? M-Mama...galit sa'kin si Bettina..." pagsusumbong nya at huminga ng malalim, "I don't know what to do..." huli nyang sambit at muling tumahimik, doon kumawala ang maliliit nyang hikbi.

She is so damn tired, she fucked up for so many time and this is the painful one. This is what makes her cry, being alone. The feeling of being alone for a long long time.

Chris feel the warm wind passes through her back when she wipe her tears using her clothes. She shakes her head while tracing the cemetery, she saw a family from her front. They were so happy together. A mother, father and a child. How she wish that she experience that thing when she was young.

But she doesn't, her youth is a not like what any other child expected. She's all alone in an orphan. What's so happy about being alone?

What's gonna be the meaning of life without a family?

She really wonder why this is all happening to her. Why did she have to be born without a family or someone will even take of her. She's so much eager to have a family.

Ngayon, nahanap na nya ang pamilyang inaasam asam nya. Pero mukhang mawawala din pala kasi kailangan nanaman nyang mamili.

Does she have to choose again?

Pagod na syang mamili, kasi kahit ano namang piliin nya nasasaktan sya palagi. Life sucks to her every time. She really thought that she lives to kill only, this talents and skills does not matter when you got no one to protect but yourself.