Hold My Hand - Lashton

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

-

Seven weeks had now passed and Ashton was finally slipping into a depressive episode. His mania had diffused and left an almost lifeless body laying on his bed, not making a single movement. Not to eat, drink, go to the toilet or answer the continuous buzz of his phone or knocks of the door. His mind couldn't get his body to move from the bed.

And whilst people knew that he had bipolar. They didn't know anything beyond the word and that it meant his emotions were a little wobbly. They just assumed that he was always going to be hyper and a little annoying at times. They weren't aware of the other side of his illness - the side where he became an utter recluse and didn't even flinch when there was a knock on the door.

Consequently when the curly-haired boy didn't show up to anything for the past three days, and no one saw him when passing through the flat everyone grew a little confused.

At first, they wondered if he had gone home if there had been an emergency at home. Or if he had fallen ill himself and no one knew. They began, as disturbing as the thought it, to worry that he might have died. He appeared so bubbly but often that was a sign that people were not as happy as they seem.

Their messages had been left unread and the door remained closed. No sound, movement or light came from inside the room. Not even the simple flush of the toilet or flick of the light switch when the night drew near.

None of the flatmates had seen Luke either in the past day or two - but that wasn't anything new. However, they were hoping to catch the blonde to question if he heard anything from Ashton.

Fortunately on Friday night one of the girls saw Luke entering the kitchen and quickly followed in after him.

"Luke?" she spoke gently, but not soft enough to stop Luke from jumping at the sudden and unexpected voice.

He quickly turned around and stared at the girl. They'd talked a few times, her name was Trinity, and Luke liked her, he found her respectful which he didn't find too often in people his age.

Luke didn't respond, but his anxious gaze was enough for her to know he was listening.

"Have you seen Ashton?" she asked, a hint of concern in her tone. Trinity leans against the wall and stared at the blonde.

Luke shook his head and looked down insecurely.

He thought it odd that he hadn't seen the curly-haired boy. But Ashton had warned him that he might just disappear in a couple of days. Not because he was running away but because he was going to become so numb that he wouldn't be able to muster up the energy to be a functioning human being.

Ashton said he had warned him because he knew how much Luke worried. That he wasn't saying that he would even notice, but just in case he did think about him and then his thoughts spiralled out of control.

Gulping Luke mumbled. "He did tell me that he felt a depressive episode coming."

Trinity looked at him confused. "Depressive episode?" she asked, not understanding what he meant.

Luke nodded and looked over the window as people walked by. "It's the other side of his bipolar. I don't know much about it, but he said he should be okay, there's not anything we can do."

She nodded trying to understand the information. "Did he say how long it'll last? He hasn't been out of his room, I don't think he's even eaten anything. We just worry you know?"

Luke nodded understandingly. "He's been through it before, I'm sure he has some sort of strategy."

"He seems closest to you Luke, do you think maybe you could try messaging him or maybe knock on his door?" she asked.

Luke nodded but inside he was panicking. He didn't like initiating conversations. He didn't like knocking on people's doors. He didn't want the responsibility. Nonetheless, he found himself agreeing all because it was Ashton.

He didn't know if he would do it for anyone else. If it wasn't Ashton, if it were anyone else, he'd probably just hide in his room until the problem went away. But he cared about the older boy and was beginning to worry about his silence.

It was now quarter past ten in the evening and Luke still had failed to communicate to Ashton in any way.

He had opened and closed his messages countless times. He didn't know what to say. What was there to say. Hi, I hope you're okay. Of course, he wasn't okay. Small chit chat he found so pointless.

His room was now dark, the only light from the screen on his phone illuminating the panic on his face. He wanted badly to hear from the older boy. He craved to hear his cheery voice, consume the brightness of his eyes. Just to be calm by his presence.

The truth was Luke missed Ashton. He couldn't explain why. Luke was never lonely. But, he guessed Ashton was his friend. His only friend here, he didn't talk to anyone else.

And with that Luke messaged Ashton the only meaningful message me could think of: I miss you.

-

Please comment what you think.

Thank you so much for reading.