Hold My Hand - Lashton

Chapter Twenty-four

Chapter Twenty-four

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Luke had almost created a script for when he was at work. He would say one thing when he greeted customers, another when he took their order and then give them their bill. Meanwhile whilst he talked to his manager or other colleagues he always said the same thing or remained quiet. He wondered if he sounded robotic, that they thought he was only programmed to say certain things. When a conversation he was not conditioned to respond to occurred he buffered and resulted in binary yes or no's.

He did think he had done surprisingly well the past three weeks of work. He had not caused any completes and he picked up the necessary skills quickly. Ensuring he met all time limits and goals. The blonde also felt he was developing as an individual; he felt he was growing wiser like Ashton. Not in knowledge but becoming closer to a successful adult.

Sometimes when he was working. If he was stood about shining some cutlery or stood waiting on a quiet evening for someone to come in, he would think about what Ashton would do in a given situation. He would think about what Ashton would even think about him working.

Occasionally he caught himself smiling and quickly had to revert back to his neutral expression in case someone thought him insane and fired him! But overall he referred back to so many answers Ashton had given him over the few months they knew each other about working and life in general and applied them in his temporary job. And he really thought they helped.

The one thing he really stuck to was the notion of: don't do anything you don't want to do. He recalled Ashton once saying that when you enter a job everything your position should cover should be in the job description or explained in an interview. If you then accept the job it is because you are content with everything you have to perform.

Luke wasn't particularly content about talking to customers or being in such a public location. But he knew customer service was one of the only jobs he would be able to get at his age and limited experience. So he decided he would have to go a little outside of his comfort zone.

The older boy then proceeded to tell him whilst they were sat in the kitchen following their usual routine: "If your employer then asks you to do something you don't want to do, you can say no. It's allowed, it may reflect badly on you at times. But we're young and we don't have to pay taxes just yet! A job is not as important as your mental health."

"Did you do refuse to do something?" Luke asked quietly, staring down at his book cover. He didn't know why he had brought it down, it was a mistake and he felt silly for doing so.

Ashton smirked and winked at the younger boy allowing silence to linger in the air, leaving Luke guessing at possible answers. When Ashton didn't answer, Luke raised his eyebrows at the boy still waiting. He knew the older boy was playing with him, toying with his nerves in the kindness way possible. But there was only so much suspense he could handle.

Ashton finally shook his head and grinned cheekily. Luke groaned and reached across the table to playfully slap him. "You shouldn't play me like that," Luke complained.

The curly-haired boy chuckled and smiled adoringly at the blonde. "I know. But I do enjoy seeing you nervous, of course not when your panicking. But the natural nerves you know!"

Luke leant back and looked at Ashton confused just causing him to laugh again. "You're even too innocent to understand that! If you got shipped off to the workplace right now you'd be trodden all over!"

"I wouldn't," Luke mumbled, uncertainty in his tone. He was racking his brain trying to understand Ashton's words. He could analyse thousands upon thousands of English quotes. Every word from and to bird held so many connotations. But whenever words left Ashton's mouth his brain seemed to fail him, his emotions took a toll and his words became foreign.

"My friend did though," Ashton continued on with his story.

"Did what?"

"Refused to do something when her manager asked. I won't go into details, it's too much for your pure brain. But we're lucky we're males Luke. And we can't abuse that power. I know we're gay, we're not really trying to be alpha's - but sometimes we will need to be. We'll have to assert power over other males to gain justice."

Luke nodded and smiled sadly. He knew what Ashton was referring to. He leaned his head against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. The fresh white paint growing darker as the days went by, being polluted with dirt from all the cooking.

Luke sighed and looked back over at Ashton who was now scrolling on his phone. "Do you really think I won't be able to survive a job?" he asked, panic and sadness seeping into his tone.

Ashton turned off his phone and stared at the blonde. He could see the hurt his words had caused. The older boy shook his head. "I think you'll struggle, Luke," he shrugged simply. "But if you really wanted to work I know you'd persevere and find ways to overcome it. I just don't think you're quite ready yet. However, only you know when you're ready."

Luke stared out the window behind Ashton as other students walked by. He wondered if they had a job if they had ever had one or the thought of a part-time job crossed their mind. Was it essential for them to survive university or just an extra sense of security?

"Will you help me?" Luke asked. "Like will you tell me about your jobs and what skills you need?"

Ashton smiled and nodded. "Of course!"

Luke couldn't wait to tell Ashton when he returned to the university about how much his words had helped him. How his hesitation had meant Luke actively sought a job, and his advice helped him survive. He wanted to see Ashton's face light up with amazement and confess that he was shocked, or proud.

Luke didn't know what he wanted from Ashton. Maybe he wanted his approval. Maybe he wanted to learn and be more like him. Or maybe he just wanted his attention. 

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Just a lil chapter showing the effects on anxiety on day to day necessary activities.

Please comment what you think.

Thank you so much for reading.