Hold My Hand - Lashton

Chapter Forty-nine

Chapter Forty-nine

-

They had not set eyes on each other for two weeks. Ashton had seen Luke rush past his room, leaving nothing but a ghost in his life behind. Sometimes Luke would hear Ashton speaking, and the sound would make his headache. Ashton wasn't even granted the sound of Luke voice: quiet and composed. He missed it. But her understood.

The distance was making their love fade. It was clear they couldn't have each other anymore. The yearning and desire for each other were now and yearning and desire for each other to disappear. Neither wanted to be reminded of the other.

Luke didn't want to hear Ashton's voice. Ashton didn't want to see Luke's teacup sitting in the drying rack. They were still in each other's lives, and whilst they could avoid each other, they couldn't get rid of their symbols.

When sat at his desk, Luke would see Ashton walking to his lectures. He closed his curtains, and never opened them. He kept his headphones in. He hid in his room.

Whilst the pair had never crossed paths when he did leave, Luke was even more paranoid than before. The blonde only left when he thought it was essentially impossible for him to stay locked inside his small room for any longer. He would say he was going insane, but he already knew he was insane. He couldn't even find solace in books.

Ashton was the protagonist, the antagonist, even the damn tree in every single book.

It was one-thirty in the morning. Luke couldn't sleep. He was fed up with staring at the ceiling so he had begrudgingly picked up his book.

He had finished it, The Five People You Meet in Heaven. He would have said it was one of his favourite books he had ever read, but there was too much love in it. Love was everywhere and he couldn't escape it.

The book had said that people "find" love as if it were hidden by a rock, but they were wrong. It took many forms and was different for everyone.

Luke was certain that love was not hiding from him anymore. He wasn't trying to find it, but there it was. It was revealing itself everywhere. To taunt him, to boast what he could not have.

He felt that everyone could have love, be loved, besides him.

He lay with the book on his chest, his eyes heavily open. Luke's love was just across the hall, he assumed sleeping peacefully whilst he suffered. Luke knew that it was just as hard as for Ashton, but Ashton was the one who initiated the tsunami of rage and heartache. He was the one holding and clenching at his heart, and the only one who could stop it.

Giddily Luke stood up. His feet carried him towards his door. He was too tired to know what he was doing. He wasn't thinking. He forgot his key card. The door slammed shut behind him, he usually took care to close it quietly (especially at two in the morning).

He had done this before. Stood outside Ashton's room, debating whether to knock. He wondered if Ashton could see him through his peephole. He never knocked and Ashton never answered. It was Luke's secret, and he knew he must look insane.

But, today Luke had been pushed over the edge. He needed it all to stop. He couldn't be here any longer. With his fist, he banged on Ashton's door.

There was shuffling about from inside, the removal of blankets and the flicker of light. Ashton answered, still half-asleep.

"Luke?" Ashton mumbled confused, rubbing his eyes to try and wake himself up.

Luke didn't respond. Instead, he collapsed into the older boys arms.

-

Sorry, it's short, I am a little short for a time at the moment as it's essay season - but I am determined to finish this book without missing a single update!

How is everyone doing? I know a lot of places have tightened their lockdown restrictions so how is everyone coming?

Please comment what you think.

Thank you so much for reading.