Hold My Hand - Lashton

Chapter Forty-one

Chapter Forty-one

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Shards of glass suspended just above the ground before it fell again, an eerie clattering as the kitchen fell silent. Ashton stood still. His anger paralysed him. His mother quickly ushered the other children out of the kitchen, and then slowly drew her oldest son towards the table, away from the danger of the broken glass. 

He had before picked up the sharp material in his bare hands. Breaking open his soft skin, staining it with red. His mother had purchased so many new glasses in the twenty-years he had been alive, she had considered buying plastic ones. But she wanted to trust Ashton, she didn't want to place reminders of his illness among the house.His mother didn't know what triggered it. 

He seemed calm and collected - reserved - but calm. He was eating his dinner, and wanted some water. And then he threw the glass to the ground in a fit of anger. She couldn't connect the cause. 

"Ashton, what happened?" she asked, sitting down beside her son. He was a lot taller than her and arguably smarter. And sometimes she found it weird to be caring for someone who seemed her age.But there were moments when he looked at her. And his facial expression revealed a lost and confused young boy. Someone who was pretending to be older and stronger than he was. And right now she saw the young boy who was so confused and hurt and needed the guidance of his mother. 

Ashton shook his head. The outburst was sudden and he was still trying to figure it out. "I don't know. I was just getting some water and then she was talking about love and her boyfriend and" His breath was jagged and he was becoming upset. "I've got myself into trouble mum!" 

"Trouble?" she asked worriedly. "What kind of trouble?"Ashton laughed slightly. His mood lightening a little. He knew what she was thinking -drugs.

 "I'm in love mum! I've gone and got myself in stupid love!"She looked at him sadly. She knew her son loved strongly, sometimes almost obsessively. It wasn't harmful, but it could sometimes destroy the relationship. 

"And you don't want to be in love?" she asked.Ashton shrugged. 

"Love's not a problem. It's the person who I've fallen in love with. If we'd met each other ten years from now I think we'd be okay, but I know if we continue we'd be the death of each other." 

His mother grew concerned. She was worried her son's lover was hurting him. "Does he hurt you, Ashton?"Ashton quickly shook his head. "No, Luke would never! He could never. The only person Luke hurts is himself. And I guess that hurts me too. I feel trapped." 

"Luke?" she questioned, the name feeling familiar on his tongue. "I've met him haven't I?" 

"He ran out of the kitchen if you call than meeting him," Ashton chuckled. "He's always running away from me mum. And I don't think I can catch him anymore." 

"Running away?" She didn't understand his metaphors and thought them rather literal."He was so vulnerable when I met him. But he's turning into a different person. And I love him more and more with every change he undergoes, but it's tiring to keep up. He's still growing and I think he needs to do that alone." 

His mother sighed. She didn't quite understand what he was saying, she was sure he was confused. But she understood the big picture. "And he loves you too?" 

Ashton nodded. "And I don't think he quite sees the situation like me. I don't want to hurt him mum, but I know that whatever I do I am going to." 

"You want my advice?"Ashton nodded eagerly. He knew what he was going to do. He had known for a while now. But he wanted some support because it was not in his nature to destroy something so beautiful and leave it broken."If you do want to end things. You need to do it now. Because you're only going to hurt each other more by waiting."

 "But I'll miss him," Ashton protested. He had thought the same thoughts, but he still couldn't bring himself to do it. 

"Of course you will Ashton. And I'm sure he'll miss you. But that temporary heartache is nothing compared to the trauma and stress that will occur if you two go on. You're experiencing more pain than pleasure right now. It's about balance Ashton, you know that better than anyone. There will be a time, if fate grants it, that the pain and pleasure become an equilibrium."

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Sorry it's so short! 

Please comment what you think.

Thank you so much for reading and hope you all have a good day.