Hold My Hand - Lashton

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

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The term had taken a full loop. Luke now stood in the hallway with his parents, his back to them, facing Ashton. To a bystander, it would look like life repeating itself. But the circumstances and the individuals changed.

A relationship had blossomed between Luke and Ashton, they knew too much about each other and didn't quite know what to do with the information.

But a relationship had also withered away, it wasn't known yet, between Luke and his parents. Their son had grown, altered and become more reserved. He, more than ever, didn't want his parents to know anything about him. And he especially didn't want them to ever meet Ashton.

However, Ashton was walking towards the blondes parents and shaking their hands, introducing himself as Luke's friend. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Luke look down and blush. They hadn't talked after their conflict in the pub the previous night, but he felt comfort in the couple of words he had just uttered.

"I'll go and get my bag," Luke blurted out, rushing past the pair and into his room.

Ashton smiled at the duo and chuckled. "I don't think I've ever met someone as nervous as Luke." He wasn't trying to interfere in their son's life, but like the book Luke had left lying around to try and come out, Ashton wanted to make it a little easier for them to understand their son's mental health.

His mother laughed and stared into the room, her son not being in sight. "I was worried he would just hide in his room," she admitted. "He's never had much confidence," she said sadly. His father hummed in agreement.

"It took some time to coax him out!" Ashton explained. "I think it's easier now that he's surrounded by people who enjoy what he does too."

The pair nodded understanding what the older boy meant and smiled at his appreciatively. After that Luke came out with his suitcase and a backpack. His father offered to take the suitcase and Luke willingly let him.

Biting his lip, Luke began to fiddle with his fingers not knowing what to say and do. However, as usual, Ashton took control of the conversation as he took a step toward the blonde and took him into his arms.

Awkwardly the blonde entangled his arms from inside of their two bodies and loosely hugged the older boy back. When pulling away Ashton grinned and gave the boy a knowing wink. "Look after yourself, Luke."

Luke nodded and looked over at his parents to see what they were doing. They were just smiling but Luke wanted to know what they were thinking. If he knew what connotations the words meant.

"You too," he mumbled, taking a step back away from the older boy.

Ashton chuckled and took a step back too and waved bye to the trio and watched them leave the corridor.

Once they were gone he sighed and walked back into his room and peered around. His mother was not coming until a few hours and he still had to pack some clothes to take back with him for the four weeks.

But for now, he collapsed onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He still had not recovered from his depressive episode, something was still hanging heavy on his shoulders and he was already feeling tired.

His heart was beating heavily, anxious for the blondes departure. He had gotten so used to his daily presence that he wasn't sure what he would do without him. As much as he knew Luke hated it, analysing Luke kept Ashton calm. Focusing on Luke's mental health helped his own, and maybe that was unhealthy in the long term but it was working at present.

Standing up again Ashton walked over to his window and peered out. Luke was standing outside of his parent's car, taking off his bag and then climbing in. Ashton smiled to himself at how awkward he looked. He imagined the blonde sitting there in silence the whole ride home, just daydreaming as he stared out of the window.

And Ashton knew Luke inside out. Whilst he had a book sat of his lap, in remained unopened as he stared out of the window staring at the ugly industrial scenery that occasionally rolled into the scenery as his father drove out of the university town into another one.

"Do you have any other friends?" his mother asked as she looked over her shoulder at her youngest son. She realised how tired he looked, he looked overworked but she just assumed that was university.

Luke didn't respond however, he was too zoned out. He couldn't comprehend his emotions. He was lost, sad and confused. He didn't know if he wanted to go home. He missed his family and the familiarity of his home city. But, was it so familiar now?

He knew that he had changed. He knew that he had become more vulnerable. Something over the past couple of months had beaten and trodden him down into frail and panicking eighteen-year-old who no longer felt safe in the hands of his parents.

He knew they loved and cared for him, that they were driving him home to a house where they could provide warmth, security and love. But Luke wanted to be alone, he wanted to harsh cold winter air to pervade through the air vents. He wanted to sit alone in the flat kitchen with just a bowl of soup for dinner.

He had designed a life that he wanted, and now he knew his parents were going to interfere, and they had a lot more power, Ashton. He couldn't stop his mind lingering on the last few words that Ashton had said, that he should take care of himself. Luke knew what it meant. Ashton knew that Luke knew what it meant. But Luke couldn't be sure if his parents knew what it meant? He was worried Ashton had triggered something in his parent's minds that could have gone unnoticed.

It could have prevented the panic attack the few words had triggered. As the words raced around in the blonde's mind, everything around his turned just as blurry as the scenery that was racing by. All sound turned into white noises and Luke felt his heart beating outside of his chest.

He knew he had to calm himself before his parents noticed that he was acting oddly. But Luke was scared that he couldn't. That he didn't have this under control anymore, unlike before university. It was going to be something difficult to hide from his parents.

All he could think about was Ashton's touch. He let his hand drop down on the seat beside him, his palm facing upwards and imagined the older boy placing his own in it. He imagined him tracing patterns into his skin as they at the shoulder to shoulder. And eventually, Luke's breathing returned to normal, but his eyes met his mothers in the rear-view mirror and he was certain she knew.

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I'm going to change to just updating twice a week and see how that goes. So I'll continue to update on Monday and Thursday.

Please comment what you think.

Thank you so much for reading.