Hold My Hand - Lashton

Chapter Thirty-four

Chapter Thirty-four

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Laughing to himself, Luke attracted a confused glance from Ashton. "What?"

Looking up from his book, Luke bit his lip and shook his head. "Nothing! This book is just absurd!"

"Why? What's it about?" Ashton questioned, sliding off from Luke's bed and joining him on the floor beside it

"Well besides the magic and never being caught sneaking into a secret garden, the way everyone talks about the children's bodies is absurd!" the blonde complained, closing the book and placing it beside him. He leant his head against Ashton's shoulder and happily accepted Ashton's body heat.

Ashton eyed Luke suspiciously. He could tell the book had sent the blonde's mind into a frenzy and it was dangerous for his mind to wander on topics that so closely affected him. When Luke couldn't focus on a book he knew something was wrong. Often they led together, Ashton on his phone or just resting whilst Luke avidly read - and sometimes it was hard to pull the blonde back into reality.

Luke went on to explain rather too enthusiastically. "Either they're calling one of the children fat or talking about how glad they are to be fatter. And they don't care! Either way, it's not very realistic!"

"They're only children Luke!" Ashton reminded bim, not quite seeing why the blonde was so fixated on the fictional dilemma.

"I know but they are like eleven. I was insecure at eleven!" the blonde revealed, his breathing heavy and Ashton could feel Luke's negative energy charging his bodily atoms. As Luke became frustrated, Ashton grew concerned. Neither were spiritual but they were beginning to suspect that the air they shared prompted their mood.

Ashton tried to console the younger boy. "But that's not normal, and we've talked about that! I don't think I second-guessed my body until I seventeen! And besides Luke, it was different times. Different body standards back then."

Luke shrugged and rubbed his eyes. He stared down at the book and let his mind wander. He knew books were not real, but they are arguably mirrors of real life. Everything that had been transcribed on each page had come from someone's mind and had to have been influenced by some form of experience. And sometimes Luke wondered why his life wasn't ever mirrored in fiction - why there was so little to relate to. It made him wonder if he was normal.

"Do you do that a lot?" Ashton spoke up when Luke didn't respond.

"What?" the blonde retorted, looking up confused. He could see the worrisome look on the curly-haired boys face and knew he was doing something wrong.

"Pick up on the mentioning of body image in books? You've done it before," Ashton reformed recalling Luke mention the portrayal of bodies last term in a book he had read. Ashton had found he had done it too, but that's because Luke's fixation with his body was on his mind. So if Luke was picking up on it right now he assumed the thought of his body was lingering and prominent and preventing him from providing solace in a fictional world.

"I guess," Luke admitted. "It's a comparison thing. Or maybe it's clarity. I don't know. Never really helps anyway!" he dismissed not wanting to talk about it.

Ashton sighed knowing that even though two weeks had passed, Luke was still very much preoccupied with his body. He knew change wasn't going to be easy, quick or instantaneous. However, he had hoped that some optimism and recognition of his destructive habits had been picked up on and reconsidered. But to Ashton, Luke seemed the same.

"You do want this, don't you?" Ashton asked, turning his body so he was facing the blonde, his legs crossed. Luke watched him tentatively, Ashton was serious.