Hold My Hand - Lashton

Chapter Twenty-one

Chapter Twenty-one

-

"Sweetheart," Liz said quietly as she loudly placed the cutlery into the dishwasher. She wasn't looking at her son, but she could see the young boy in her mind. She heard the boy hum to indicate he was listening but he remained still, reading his book.

"Did you do it on purpose?" she asked, her voice breaking silently. Her body tensed at the thought of it and she couldn't ask him directly, so she took to cleaning everything she could.

Luke looked up from his book and frowned. He didn't know what she meant, she was being too vague and now he was growing anxious. His mother didn't know, unlike Ashton, that ambiguity was one of the blondes biggest triggers.

When Luke didn't answer she placed a cup in the cupboard and turned around to face him. He wasn't reading anymore, he was staring into space.

"Luke?" she asked. He quickly met her eye and picked up his book, pushing his chair out. "You know what I am talking about, right?" she asked concerned.

Luke just shrugged and left the kitchen, leaving his mother trying to hold back tears. His silence told her everything she needed to know. She knew he was a quiet boy, but when difficult topics were brought up, he always fled at any opportunity possible, saying as little as he could.

She began to stare at the doorway in which he had just left and wondered if she should do anything about it. Whether she was misinterpreting the situation. But the boy in front of her was not so familiar as before.

He was tired, his eyes dull and his skin thinner. His cheeks weren't so youthful; they were sharp. They had been shaped and chiselled by something, but no one knew why.

Luke had always been insecure. Everyone close to him knew that he didn't have a stable relationship with his body. He kept his shirts baggy, hid body covered and always sat with a pillow in front of him to avoid anyone catching a glimpse of his stomach when sitting.

No one worried beyond that insecurity because he never acted upon it. Luke disliked his body but he kept it as it was, because there was nothing wrong with it.

When he decided to become vegan his mother began to worry because she thought it was a cover-up for a diet, but after a couple of months she soon relaxed again seeing that he was doing just fine, well at least that was what it appeared like from the outside. He looked healthy so she didn't mind.

Drying up the last of the bowls she closed the dishwasher and began to follow after her youngest son. She had to confront him, she needed to know what was happening. If she had anything to worry about. She didn't know if just her son was struggling to be an adult and cook for himself, or that he was neglecting his body.

Slowly and quietly she made her way up the stairs and loitered outside of his door that had hidden a vacant room for three months. She was glad he was home, but she could tell that he was altered. He didn't need his mother so much anymore. She was proud but at the same time wounded.

Not wanting to be too invasive she knocked lightly on his door and he quickly responded for her to enter. He was reading when she entered and it made her feel relaxed seeing that he still read, that not all of her youngest son was gone.

She sat on the edge of his bed and stared around his room. It was empty, emptier than before he left and she didn't know how it didn't drive him insane. She took a deep breath and began again. "You understand why I'm worried right?"

Once again her son just shrugged and she felt frustration brewing. Luke had never really talked to her about his emotions, but she knew that he struggled with anxiety. The school had once told her, but he never mentioned it and she just wanted to wait until he was ready. But it had been nearly four years and he still hadn't said anything.

"You've gotten skinny Luke," she said outright. Liz finally realised that beating around the bush wasn't going to work with him, she needed to be firm and direct.

But Luke didn't like confrontation and whilst his eyes were still settled on the words his the page, they were now just blurry black dots. His heart was racing fast. He didn't know what to say. "Not really," he mumbled defensively.

Liz shook her head and looked at the blonde boy who was beginning to sweat. "You've lost weight Luke and as your mother, I want to know why? I worry Luke! Both your brothers gained weight when they started, it's not normal to lose weight-"

Gulping Luke looked down. "That's what Ashton said. It's just a stereotype!"

"Ashton?" she said confused by the topic shift. "The boy we met?" Luke nodded. "If someone else is picking it up Luke maybe I should be worried?" She recalled the curly-haired stranger telling him to 'take care' and alarm bells began to ring.

Luke put his book down and ran his fingers through his hair. He knew there was no escaping the fact he had lost weight, there was physical evidence to prove so. But he knew he could manipulate the reason why. "I've never had to cook for myself before mum, and I struggled to manage my time," he admitted.

Liz continued to watch the young boy, she could see his brain running quickly trying to fathom words. "You can tell me if anything is wrong Luke? Is better to do something now whilst your still healthy," she persisted.

Luke laughed to himself, becoming frustrated himself. "If I'm healthy then why are you questioning me? I just neglected food for work instead. I did it with my exams, you had to remind me to eat."

Liz sat silently and stared at the floor and just nodded. She scanned his room again and sighed. "I saw what happened in the car," she said focusing on another concern.

Luke shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," she agreed. "But I've never seen you like that before-" she hesitated before continuing. "I do know Luke. They had to tell me. But I don't understand it, I just have a name. If you would talk to us, you could be so much more comfortable living here."

Luke closed his eyes tightly, trying to hold back tears. "I don't know what you're talking about."

-

The joys of denial!

Please let me know what you think.

Thank you are so much for the support. As I say I don't care too much about getting loads of read, even just getting one read and helping someone is all I want. But the fact that this book is number on in lashton is incredible! So thank you!