Hold My Hand - Lashton

Chapter Twenty-seven

Chapter Twenty-seven

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Cheeks tinted red Luke quickly looked down when Ashton entered the kitchen the following morning, still in his pyjamas and his hair a mess. He was hungover but still made the effort to be up in time to spend breakfast with the blonde.

"How are you feeling?" Ashton asked as he pulled out his coffee pot from his cupboard.

"I didn't drink anything," Luke responded quietly. He thought the question odd, knowing that he wasn't the one who stumbles across the streets the prior evening. Luke thought there was no point, Ashton, walking him home, it would have been the other way around.

Ashton smirked and turned to look at the blonde was staring at his porridge. "I didn't mean are you hungover! Last night probably wasn't easy for you," the older boy said, raising his eyebrow knowingly.

The blonde boy began blushing again and nodded. "I was a bit uncomfortable," he admitted, not wanting to give away the full extent of his feelings of that night.

"My lap wasn't comfortable?" Ashton asked to smirk, knowing that was not what he had intended.

"No, I-" Luke began, placing his spoon in his bowl and turning to face Ashton. "It's just not something I usually do. It was awkward," he explained.

"But you did it," the curly-haired boy pointed out. "You didn't oppose it."

Luke closed his eyes and shook his head vigorously. "There were no chairs Ashton and you no I can't say no to you: it wasn't fair. And I-" Luke stopped himself. He was about to admit his jealously and he didn't want to let onto that as Ashton would only tease him more. "I know you enjoy it, making me nervous, but it's humiliating Ashton."

Ashton stopped and stared at the younger boy in shock. He began shaking his head and pulled out the chair in front of him. "I never meant for that Luke," he quickly assured, wanting to gain the boy's trust back.

"I know," Luke mumbled, his voice quavering. "But you know how I feel Ashton, you understand I don't react like normal people. I know I should have been excited to sit on your lap, everyone there did - but I can't act how you want me to."

Ashton sat in silence and stared at the blonde. He wasn't looking at the boy, but looking at spot and thinking. He understood what he was saying and implying he didn't think it was something to react to at present.

"I can't always read you, Luke, as much as I want to. I need you to tell me how you feel."

"I don't speak about my emotions Ashton."

"But you need to. Otherwise, you're going to repress everything and end up destroying yourself."

Luke laughed and rolled his eyes frustrated. "You keep saying I'm destroying myself. But a couple of hours ago you were talking about how well I looked. Can I not please anyone?" he complained, finally looking up to see Ashton's expression.

The curly-haired boy sat back in his seat in defeat and stared out of the window. "You heard that?" he asked calmly, not wanting the confrontation to escalate any further, knowing it would only have further implications on the pairs mental health.

Luke nodded and sighed. "I couldn't stop thinking about it." It took him over an hour to fall asleep, the couple of words on a loop in the back of his head - so many connotations filtering in after it.

"It wasn't malicious Luke, you look well that's all. It made you look more attractive," Ashton said quietly, blushing himself this time. He couldn't look at him anymore, the tension was too high.