Hold My Hand - Lashton

Chapter Forty-eight

Chapter Forty-eight

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"How are you feeling?"

Ashton had only just returned back to his accommodation. He had left the club two hours ago, spent an hour of that time on a park bench, and the rest getting a taxi home.

As he arrived in the block, he saw Luke in the kitchen - not looking much better than himself. He was still drunk, the hangover would probably occur in a couple of hours. He wasn't feeling too good himself and wanted nothing more than to collapse into bed.

However, no matter how intoxicated he was, at the corner of his mind, he worried about how Luke was doing.

Luke shrugged. "I don't know. I smell of sick." He ran his hand through his greasy hair, knowing he should have showered, but was hungry and wanted to eat first. He had hoped that no one would see him in such a state.

"You don't remember last night?" Ashton asked curiously. clutching onto the work surface. The blonde's lack of care and nerves suggested he wasn't ashamed as normal. Or Ashton was too intoxicated to read peoples emotions properly. But he thought the pain and tension between him and Luke were sobering him up.

"Barely."

"I guess it's for the best-" Ashton laughed, scratching the back of his head. He wondered how much Luke did remember. Did he remember throwing up? Or did he remember asking Ashton to get into bed with him?

When Ashton had taken him the cup of tea up, Luke was asleep. The cup was now in the sink, stained around the edges. Ashton assumed Luke hadn't drunk it, but it didn't matter.

A couple of minutes of silence passed before Luke blurted out. "She's really pretty."

Ashton rolled his eyes, and stood up straight, smirking at the younger boy. "And skinny?" he asked.

Luke laughed and shoved his chair away from the table, his hand resting on his stomach "Of course she is. There is no need to taunt me with it."

"I was not. I was just speaking your mind," Ashton retorted, watching the blonde shield his body.

"I don't need to hear my mind in reality, it's enough as it is thank you."

"I think you're skinnier, you know?" Ashton remarked drunkenly.

Luke knew Ashton was drunk, that he shouldn't react. But he was fed up. "I don't care Ashton. I really don't care anymore. No matter what I look like no one really cares about me do they?"

"I care about you. Did I not help you last night? Did I not undress you and deal with your sick?"

"I could have done it myself!" Luke exclaimed, suddenly feeling exposed. He didn't remember that part of the night, but he had made the assumption that was what happened.

"Why are you all of a sudden so hostile towards me? I thought we could at least remain friends. I didn't do anything wrong," Ashton muttered, slamming his hands on the surface behind him.

Luke laughed once again and placed his bowl firmly in the sink. Creating a noise louder than the other boy. "Just because you nicely dumped me doesn't mean I'm not upset. I loved you Ashton and you made me promises that you didn't keep. I can respect your decision and understand that whatever we had was never going to last - but you inevitably ruined my moment of bliss. I just wanted one more moment with you."

Ashton didn't respond. He just stared at the blonde. He didn't know what to say. He knew he had hurt the blonde, but he hoped he had done it in the calmest and collected way possible. But, you couldn't control other people's actions and Ashton was beginning to learn that the hard way.

Luke sighed as he shoved his bowl in his cupboard. He didn't like the silence, but it was better than a witty and snide remark from Ashton. "You're drunk Ashton," he pointed out. "And you stink of alcohol. Neither of us is in a place where we can speak to each other right now. We need time to heal and then we can have a proper conversation."

Ashton shook his head. "But we live together Luke. We can't avoid each other."

"We can." Luke had been avoiding Ashton for most of the month, and it had worked (unless Ashton had appeared unexpectedly. "Just don't come near me. Leave me alone."

"You don't want to even be friends?" Ashton continued to plead, his head spinning.

Luke shook his head. He didn't know where the confidence had come from, maybe from the fact that he had finally been pushed over the edge. He knew after this though he was going to fall. "It hurts to be around you Ashton. It hurts to be around something that I can't have. You're so close but so far away. It's not fair. It's not fair on both of us. You recognise that eventually."

Scrunching his eyes shut, trying to steady his spinning. "I am drunk," he laughed. "Is this how you always feel?"

Luke nodded. "Something like that." He made his way towards the door and muttered. "Bye Ashton."

-

Did not realise there are only three more chapters left. But on the bright side the pain I cause you will be over!

How is everyone doing? What are your plans for today?

Please comment what you think.

Thank you so much for reading.