Hold My Hand - Lashton

Chapter Twenty-five

Chapter Twenty-five

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Now the final three days before Ashton returned to university he was trying to complete everything he wanted to do whilst he was back at home.

Ashton was not much of a reader, especially of fiction. But every time Luke mentioned a novel to him he made a mental note, and then carried that thought to a list he had made on his laptop called 'Books Luke Likes'. Ashton wanted to read them all, or at least some of them. He wanted to converse with Luke about them and provide accessible and fun conversations for the younger boy.

There were currently ten on the list, all unread. A dead conversation. Ashton had planned to read one a week whilst he was home, but life got in the way and he just made the excuse of not having the time. Although he knew the notion of not having time was a myth. He had plenty of time, he just chose to spend that time doing other things like scrolling through his phone or pestering his mother.

And with that time sailed away and he still hadn't read anything. Not even the pre-reading for university that he knew Luke would have done as soon as he got home. Sometimes he could not help but think Luke was a little too keen, but he knew it was useful and thought it looked cute on the blonde.

However, having a sudden burst of motivation (another arguable myth) Ashton decided he wanted at least one book to talk to the blonde about when he returned to campus.

He didn't know what one to start first, he didn't know anything about any of the books and the only knowledge he did have was the blondes vague mention of them.

Consequently, Ashton caught the bus to his town and went to his local bookshop. He remembered the first three on his list to memory and then decided that the first one he saw out of the trio would be what he would purchase and persevere through.

Scanning the bookshelf his eyes finally settled on a familiar title: Life of Pi. Ashton had heard of the novel before, and he was certain he had seen the trailer for the film, or maybe even seen the film but forgot everything but the tiger.

He ran his fingertip of the spine and then pulled the book out from the bookcase leaving an awkward gap. He wondered if they would then put another book out: the same or different?

After Ashton had paid, he debated whether to go to a coffee shop or to a park to begin reading. He knew if he returned home he would toss it on his bed and it would remain unread for the foreseeable future.

There was still from eminent on the pavement, it glistening amongst the tarmac. Ashton made his way towards a small coffee shop, peering through windows of other shops and cafes, seeing if there was anyone he noticed from school.

Ashton ordered a hot chocolate, a slice of chocolate cake, and sat down at a small corner table at the back of the cafe. Taking the book out of the backpack he stared at the cover and tried to conjure up what the book could be about. He knew already that there was a tiger and he was pretty certain the protagonist was stranded at sea, but there was only so much could happen at sea before a routine sunk it.

Taking a deep breath Ashton opened the book up, skipping the author's notes and reviews and letting his eyes rest on the first words.

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He had devoured fifty pages by the time he had left the cafe. Feeling he outstayed his welcome and stained the mug with his drink in. On the bus home, he had complete another twenty and had read half of the novel by the time the day ended.

The following day, with his mother back at work and his siblings at school, he completed the rest. It was one of those books, Ashton decided, that you could not put down.

He was intrigued by the interplay of religions. The ability to love and respect them all. The struggle but acceptance of giving up a lifetime of vegetarianism. And the ability to construct a lie to cope with the trauma the event had caused.

Ashton recalled Luke mentioning the concept of an unreliable narrator. He loved the tricks that were revealed at the end of the novel. Luke had said it was the same with Ian McEwan's Atonement. He could see why it was one of the blonde's favourite conventions. It was compelling and frustrating. It leaves your mind lingering on the novel for hours after, rethinking the whole narrative that turns out to be a lie.

There were some parts Ashton had etched under with a pencil. He didn't want to ruin the beauty of the plain page, but he didn't want to forget the beauty of the words either.

Some parts struck him, other parts that he wanted to talk to Luke about and others that simply reminded him of the blonde.

There was one part in which Pi entered a church and talked about the intrusion of God about his mind. He said that he couldn't get Him out of his mind. And Ashton thought it was ironical that he couldn't get Luke out his mind. Luke was like his god, and he was committing blasphemy!

But it was nonetheless true. He could not and still can't get the blonde out his mind. And the more he tried to think about something else the less he could forget him. Reading what Luke had read, Ashton was learning the contents of Luke's mind and the less he wanted to leave.

Pi's desire for survival also consolidated Ashton's desire for Luke. Pi claimed life was like a peephole. And Ashton knew it was because he couldn't fathom any life after death so for him this was all he had.

If he was going to spend time wasting it, diverting around reading books to help Luke with conversations. If was going to keep playing Luke's emotions, making him feel nervous and uncertain about their relationship, he was wasting his life. He knew that he needed to cherish the time he had with Luke because it wasn't going to be forever. It might even only be for three years. 

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They'll be back together next chapter!

Hopefully updates will be on time but my grandad only has a couple days left now so it depends if I'm actually in the mood to write. Please bear with me. 

Please comment what you think.

Thank you so much for reading.