To Break A Curse

2.57

"Roman?" Colt tensed slightly as he walked out into the living room to find the god on the couch reading one of his notebooks, no doubt the one about Virgil. Roman had actually given Colt permission to read the other ones to as a way to help build a sort of trust between them. At this point, Colt really didn't know what else to do. He read them all. Repeatedly... He's gone over everything Roman, Virgil, Alex, and now Thomas has said to him. He's even gone over every memory he had of all the demi's his path had unfortunately crossed as to get a better understanding. He had this thought constantly running around his head. This idea that just wouldn't leave him alone. A question that he couldn't quite put to words. But before he could even think about that, he first had to get to a point where he completely trusted Roman. 

He wanted to completely trust Roman.

He just didn't yet.

"Roman, we need to talk." Which is why he found himself here, with the full intention to finally get his answer of wether or not he can trust the god before him. Roman glanced up at him with this concerned look as Colt tensed and clenched his fists to ground him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. We just need to talk." Roman nodded as he closed his notebook and set it off onto the table. He had a plan. He wasn't quite sure how far he would go with it or if it would even work. All he knew was he had to know. Roman's defended him against Thomas his own future father-in-law. He's felt immense guilt over accidentally burning him to the point where Roman tried to punish himself for it. Colt had to test it out... He needed to know what Roman would do... he purposely got the god pissed off at him. He had to know if he could trust him with his life.

"Ok. Ten talk? I guess?" 

"Roman..." He really didn't know how to go about angering him much. Oh he knew exactly what could. If he brought up Virgil and Alex it would snap Roman quicker than any old rubber band. The problem was Roman's anger had to be directed at him otherwise the test wouldn't be accurate. Colt needed to know what Roman would do if his uncontrolled rage was targeting him. Otherwise, how could he ever trust Roman completely. "Do... Do you remember May 3rd... 10 years ago?" Roman's eyes darkened as he nodded.

"Not well, I'm afraid. It's blurry. Hazey... why?"

"You tried to help a demi who's parent's had sent them to your island but... they never arrived on the ship that came. You went looking for them only for you to find me. It was the first time we had ever physically saw each other face to face."

"What is tis about?" Roman's eyes narrowed more in obvious concern as he pushed himself up and leaned against his knees.

"Her name was Ellie." Roman only frowned as Colt swallowed his anxiety. He had to do this. He had to know. "She was fourteen."

"Colt, I'm seriously confused 'ere. What are you goin' on about?"

"A fourteen year old girl who was scared out of her mind because she didn't fully understand what was going on with her was sent to you for help... only the federation apprehended her before she ever made it. I apprehended her before she ever made it." Roman nodded having known that only serving to make Colt's nerves grow. He really hated this story so much. Everyone there was so proud of him. It was his first mission. The one that impacted him the most. The one that changed everything for him. The very first time he had ever... Had ever... "I was the one that killed her."

"What?" Roman's eyes turned hazel blue with flits of light grey swirling about it, an ever creeping black slowly curling in from the corners. "What do ye mean?"

"I killed her." Colt's eyes were starting to tear up as he forced his hands to not shake. He hadn't wanted to. He was just following orders. He could still see that sick smile his father had as he pressed the knife into his hands. The poor girl begging him with her eyes as she cried... The way his hands shook as he father pushed him forward. Roman just sat there staring at him his eyes now completely black as Colt hid the way he panted under the memories. "I apprehended her and brought her in. My father he... He was still active in the field at the time... He had me actually see what happened when they 'questioned' them. I stood there in complete compliance and my father beat her for answers she could not provide." Roman's eyes flashed scarlet making Colt tense up, before it faded back to black.

"What are ya doing?" Roman's eyes were glaring over at the human with a pointed glare as Colt tried really hard not to reveal his fear. "Why bring all tat up now?"

"Because I was the one that killed her, Roman." Colt stood his ground as he took a deep breath. "I stabbed her in the heart and then burned burned her body so there was nothing for her family to find." Roman's eyes were flickering at this point, his gaze hardening even more as his body seemed to shift just subtlety. "And all of this... was before you even found me." Roman was up within seconds, slamming Colt agaisnt the wall and making the human whimper, the gods hand around his throat. The look of pure anger just burned through them both as Colt's eyes shut tightly with anxiety. "Meaning I l-lied..." Roman growled as his grip tightened just sightly, his eyes a pure blinding scarlet. "When I told you she was alive 'for now'... I lied. She had already been dead for a day." At this point Colt was crying as the stifling heat Roman was letting off made it really head for him to breath. "And now Virgil's in all that mess getting the same treatment and it's my fault to!"

"Will ye shut te fook up?" Colt's eyes shot wide as Roman growled clearly pissed off. "I don't know what yer tryin' to do... but ye really need to stop blaming herself."

"But... B-But..." Colt was lost. His anxiety and confusion making his head spin as Roman tensed and slowly removed his hand from the others neck, though still clearly angry. "I killed her."

"I'm sure it wasn't te last."

"All the more to hate me for!" Colt yelled out as Roman's eyes only darkened more, the red never dying out in the slightest. "Roman, your angery at me. I can fucking see it. I killed her. I killed her and so many others because of my father..."

"Because. of. yer. fat'er." Colt froze as Roman's voice came out in a hiss. "Ye want to knew I'm so fooken pissed? I'm ragin' because ye ACTUALLY t'ink it's yer fault." Roman's eyes light blue before the red took over again. "It's not yer fault."

"I'm the one that killed her. And I'm the one that made it possible for Virgil and Alex to get kidnapped. I'M THE REASON ALEX GOT KILLED!" 

"DAMN IT COLT!" Colt was against the wall again with wide eyes in pure shock, this time Roman's hand against his chest as tears fell from his scarlet eyes. "Ye were a god damned puppet. A tool yer fat'er used to do very bad tings. It was NOT ye and therefore NOT yer fault. Colt, I've already forgiven ye! Fer everyt'ing. I know what it's like to be used. Yes... it's not te same ting. More so... I don't even remember it. But I do remember te feeling. Te pain... te need to make him proud... te desire to please." Colt went lax as Roman took a deep breathe and forced his words to come out with out his accent hoping that it helped the man to latch onto better. "None of what happened was EVER your fault. I've already forgiven you." Roman's eyes turned a dual color of Silver and Silvery blue as his hand moved to his side, his anger dying out to a need to protect. "Please, understand... I'm not angry at you. I don't hate you. And I'm not going to just let you talk so poorly about yourself... not when it's not your fault." Colt didn't know why or how it happened. He blacked out a bit to be honest. One moment his mind was registering everything the god had said to him and then... the next he had flung himself into Roman's arms sobbing loudly as all his pain and guilt just came crashing out. All the crap he's felt over everything... all the anger and hatred over everything he's done... everything all came out in tears as Roman smiled sadly rubbing his back to help support him. "It's ok, Colt. It's ok... I've got ye. Yer safe 'ere. I promise, kiddo."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Roman just hummed lightly as he shook his head letting the young man he's slowly but surely started to feel so protective over. Like a sudden guardian to an abused child... Roman felt compelled to help and care for him. He could probably blame that on being a god of family but... At that moment Roman really didn't care why he felt it, just that he was going to protect him.

"It's ok. I've got ye." Colt just kept muttering apologies as Roman held him close just letting him get it all out. "It takes a lot of strength to do what yer doing. I'm proud of ye." And with that... Colt finally completely broke down, the last of his walls crumbling away... never to be seen again.