To Break A Curse

2.12

"Shit. Shit. Shit!" Roman yelled out as he searched his house top to bottom, tearing through everything, before finally just crashing. "No. No. No. Fuck! I had it. I had it for fucking decades. WHERE IS IT?!" Fire burst through the room as Roman broke down. Tears fell endlessly as he fell to his knees. "It's gone. How is it gone? It can't be gone. I need it. I need it..."

"DB?" Roman jumped looking up to see Alex standing there in the doorway and he just broke down more. "Roman, what's wrong? My god said something happened."

"It's gone. It's gone. I can't find it. I can't..." Alex dropped to his knees and pulled the other into a hug as Roman sobbed into him. "I've looked everywhere for it but I can find it anywhere. I need it."

"Why don't we go out to eat, huh? Get you out of this house for a while, maybe?" Roman quickly shook his head as he started to pull away. 

"I can't... I have to... I have to find it. Alex, I need it." Alex just took his hand in his as Roman's eyes turned black. "I have to. I need it."

"I will help you look for whatever it is... after. I promise, Roman. But right now, you are not in the right state of mind to be doing anything. You need to take a breath..." Alex glanced over to the side only to groan and give Roman a damn near parental glare. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Gods don't need to eat. We can't die." Alex's grip tightened making Roman just let out a broken laugh. "Two days ago. I had a muffin... that was about it."

"Roman..."

"You don't understand. I'm forgetting... I keep forgetting..." Alex fell into silence as Roman continued to cry. "Lo... Logan's gone. He isn't here to remind me anymore. I can't... I HAVE to remember. I have to! That's why I need it. I can't forget."

"Roman, I will help you look for it... after we get you out of this house." Alex gently pulled the other up as he cautiously led him out of the house. "You can't keep doing this to yourself Roman. You may be a god, but you have people who care about you... myself included. You have to take better care of yourself." Alex's eyes narrowed as he felt Roman shiver in his arms and he sighed. "When was the last time you even held Flounder?"

"Uh... I can't remember. I think it was the other day but I've just been so focused on everything going on. It could have been longer." Alex nodded as he just held the god closer. He knew it wouldn't go anything. His contact didn't help Roman in the slightest. He needed flounder, but going back in that house right now would not be a good idea. "Hey, Alex? How long have you been on this island?"

"About 10 years now." Roman frowned as he nodded making the other a bit confused. "Why?"

"No reason. I just was wondering... I couldn't remember when we first started talking." Alex's eyes narrowed in concern as Roman just stared blankly at nothing as they walked. "I just keep on forgetting."

"It's going to be ok, Roman." Alex led him into this cafe, smiling and waving at all the people who said hello to them. He brought them to this booth letting Roman sit before sitting across from him and his eyes narrowed in thought. "He's worried about you, you know?"

"Tell you're god, I'm fine." Alex chuckled softly as he just shook his head. 

"He doesn't believe you." Roman groaned as he rolled his eyes and just stared out the window. "Roman you are not ok. I'm here to help but you don't take my advice."

"I don't need your help." Alex just nodded as Roman tuned everything out and closed his eyes. He really hated it. He could almost imagine the memories physically slipping from his grasp. He had to get home. He had to get home and he had to find that damned... Roman's eyes snapped open to find a cup of coffee in front of him and Alex chuckled. Roman glanced over to see a waiter placing some food before them and Roman just watched with confusion.

"You dozed off a bit. I ordered for you. I hope you don't mind."

"I don't eat." Alex sighed as he started on his sandwich. "Thank you though... Alex. I... I do appreciate it." Roman gently picked up the sandwich in front of him and just smiled sadly. Something told him this was familiar. Like... being at a diner or something and having someone chose for him was normal. That this was normal for him... He couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"DB? What's wrong?"

"I need to find it." Roman's voice broke as his hand slowly dropped back to the table, his tears pooling below his arm. "I have to. I can't forget."

"Roman..."

"You don't understand, Alex. It's important. It's the most important one out of all the ones I've got. THAT one is the one I can't ever be without... and I can't find it." Alex frowned as Roman placed the sandwich back on the plate before leaning his head into his hands. "I can't lose it. I can't. I can't even remember the last time I fucking saw it. I..."

"What did you lose?"

"My journal." Alex tensed seeing just how broken up Roman was. "I lost my journal... The one I wrote about Virgil. I can't find it."

"Roman, I'll help you look for it..."

"I've looked everywhere. It's not in the house." Roman's eyes flashed black as he just shook his head and deflated. "It's gone, Alex. That book was the ONLY thing helping me to remember him and... It's gone.'

"Roman, it has to be in the house somewhere..." Roman shook his head again as he just stared at the table with broken despair.

"I've literally taken that book with me everywhere, Alex. If I can't find it... I'll never find it again." Roman shrugged as he turned away again. "That's it. I've already lost so much. Nearly everything I do remember is ONLY because of that book. I said... I said I would never forget and now there's nothing to stop that from ever happening. I really will lose everything."

"I'm here, Roman." Roman's eyes met with the demi's and all Roman could see was the love Alex had for him. "You aren't alone in this."

"Thank you Alex... but I really just want to go home and sleep."