Kaiser was always "rebellious and hard headed". She was a tough girl raised by her older brother Malcolm. So it was hard for her to embrace her girly and soft side. She usually never dated boys, because they were all too impatient to understand how...
It was eight at night when King came to pick me up. I got in the truck and just sat back. I didn't feel like talking because I was so tired. I just wanted to get in my bed and go to sleep.
"You alright?" He looked over to me.
That was enough to make my eyes water again. But I didn't want him to see me crying so I just shook my head. I'm guessing he got a glimpse of my glassy eyes because he put his hand on top of mine.
"You wanna talk about it?" He squeezed my hand gently.
I knew if there was one person in this world who would understand me the most it would be King or Iaja. But she was away at school and it was a little late to be calling. King never saw me like this so I didn't really wanna open up right now.
I shook my head again.
He nodded his head but kept his hand on mine as we drove.
We had drove for about thirty minutes when I realized that going home meant I had to face Malcolm and honestly I didn't want to do that tonight.
"I don't want to go home." I let out.
"Kai, he's looking for you. I gotta take you home." He replied.
"Please." I pleaded.
"We can slide somewhere but just for a lil bit. We can talk, we can listen to music, we can sit in silence if you want to. But after that, you gotta go home."
I took a deep breath.
He was right.
"Can we go talk somewhere?" I asked.
"Of course. We can go anywhere you wanna go." He lifted up my hand and kissed the back of it.
We drove for about ten more minutes when he pulled up to a gas station. He parked out front and cut the car off.
"What's wrong, Kai? What happened today?" He turned to me.
"I was in class and people were talking about me and I obviously defended myself. The teacher said I was disrupting class, we go back and forth, she calls Malcolm. Malcolm decided it was a great idea to take me to our parents' graves to get through to me. I haven't thought about my parents being dead for so long. I haven't thought about any of it since I was a kid. Him taking me back there brought up a lot of shit I fight so hard on the daily to ignore. I get how it seems I fucked up in school before but this isn't that. I'm actually trying and it's like nobody fucking sees me trying." I vented.
He was quiet for a moment.
"How do you feel about yo mom and pops?" He finally spoke.
That question took me back. Nobody had ever asked me that before. Not even when I was a kid.
"I remember them. I remember everything with them. I see my face and it looks just like my mom's. I see Malcolm and he looks just like my pops. Everything was easier when they were here. We were happier. I was happier. I wasn't so angry all the time. Malcolm could actually go out and have fun for once. It was better. But seeing their graves just remind me of how fucked up everything is. How fucked up I am." I was on the verge of crying.
I turned my face away from King. I didn't want him to see me cry.
He leaned over and put his hand on my chin, turning my face toward him.
"Don't hide from me. If you need to cry it out go head, I'm here regardless. And you not fucked up, you just tryna figure yo shit out like everybody else. Some shit is just harder to deal wit than others." He wiped the tears from my cheeks.
I was speechless. I had nothing to say.
After it seemed like my crying wouldn't stop he just pulled me up out of my seat and onto his lap. He held me as I cried silently.
I didn't know why I was crying so much but I knew it was deeper than everything that was going on with Malcolm. King being the one to witness it and go through this with me just made me like him and mend to him even more.
After a while I began to fall asleep as King caressed my cheek.
He sensed my breathing changed so he opened the driver side door and got out with me in his arms. He laid me in the back seat and got back in the drivers seat.
I curled into a ball and went to sleep.
________________________________ The next morning I woke up in my bed. I was still fully clothed, I even had my shoes on. I looked around and my phone was on the charger. Malcolm was on my floor sleeping.
He usually did that when we had big fights or when he was worried about me.
I sat up and looked at the time. It was ten in the morning. But at least it was Saturday.
I got out of bed careful not to wake Malcolm. I went to the bathroom so I could shower and get myself together.
After I got out the shower I put on a big t-shirt and some shorts.
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I went back in my room and Malcolm was still asleep.
I decided to just forget yesterday even happened. He's raising me on his own and there's no guide book on how to raise me specifically.
He makes mistakes just like I do. And just as much as I want him to forgive me for everything I've done and will do, I need to do just the same.
