Mean to Me ♡ Larry

3.6

Chapter 36: You have no idea how much you mean to me

Present

Louis washes his hands under the running tap and after cleaning them, splashes some onto his face, trying to fade the redness on his cheeks from the forced vomiting. The guilt still lingers, but now his body is so overwhelmed with pain from the previous actions, it is sort of subsided. And the fact he no longer has all that food sitting in his stomach, making him fatter, helps as well. Although, when Louis turns in the mirror and pokes at his pudge, he realises that moment of relief was short-lived.

He quickly brushes his teeth with the toothbrush he brought, trying to get the disgusting taste from his mouth. After finishing, he runs his hands through his fluffy hair and scrapes down his shirt and pants, trying to look as presentable as possible. With a deep breath, he shuffles from the bathroom and makes his way into Harry's room, opening the door slowly with a small smile.

"What you looking at?" He teases, squinting his eyes at the picture Harry seems to be in a trance looking at. "Hazza?" He sing-songs. Harry turns and Louis sees his red-rimmed eyes. The smaller boy's shoulder slack and he looks at Harry with eyes full of curiosity. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" He takes a step forward but gets stopped by Harry's hand, gesturing him to stay put.

"I am just imagining things, right?" He breathes out, eyes wildly dancing over Louis, trying to search for any type of emotion. But all he gets is confusion. "This is just a weird coincidence, yeah? You're not- You can't be."

At that, Louis' stomach drops and the room begins to spin, the ground becoming uneven under his footing as he clumsily rushes over to the picture, eyes tearing up when he sees himself. A miserable, broken boy, clad in his crushes ruined sweater. Louis turns to Harry and fish mouths, wracking his brain to find any excuse, any way of getting out of this. Any way to stop Harry from looking at him the way he is now.

"Harry-"

"It's you, isn't it?!" Harry takes a step back startled, his breath caught in his throat, his chest being desperately beaten at by his pounding heart. Harry looks at Louis and his heart sinks. How did he not figure this out? The head injury blurred his memory quite a lot, but he never thought it would have made him struggle to put these pieces together. This was too important and Harry suddenly felt like the oblivious, worthless child he once was again under Louis' gaze.

"I was going to tell you-" Louis yanks at his own hair, the feeling to throw-up rising again, but this time, it wouldn't be forced. The nauseous feeling coursing through him would be enough.

"When, Louis?" Harry snaps, his eyes filling with fury at the teeny boy standing in front of him. "Our third date? After a job promotion? Once you got enough money and quit?"

"I would have never done that, Harry! I-I wanted to tell you, I promise, I did, I just didn't want to lose you!" Louis sniffles and wipes at his eyes. He backs up to the wall, head hitting against the picture that sold out his secret.

Harry wraps his arms around himself insecurely, looking down at the ground and swallowing harshly. "Lucas..." Harry mumbles. "You married Stan," he flicks his eyes up in time to catch Louis slide down the wall, falling with his knees against his chest. "Was this all just some joke? Stan and you wanted to mess with me like old times?" Harry sobs and wipes at his eyes, humiliation flowing through him.

"I wouldn't do that, Haz."

"Well I didn't think you'd kick my head in, but you did, Lewis," Harry sneers out, jaw clenched and eyes cold.

"I don't even talk to Stan anymore, Harry. I'm not like that! I'm sorry for what I did as a kid, I really am!" Louis stumbles to stand and walks over to Harry, gently taking his fisted hands in his own. "You know me. I have been honest about everything besides my real identity, everything else has been me."

"You changed your name?" Harry asks.

"My name has always been Louis. I asked people to call me Lewis though, because I was more comfortable with that at the time," Louis whispers, eyes teary and face desperate. "And obviously Lucas is my last name now because I married Stan and haven't got it changed back."

Harry stiffens at that and rips his hands away from Louis, beginning to pace the room. "He was horrible, Louis."

"I know," Louis sighs sadly. He looks up at Harry from under his wet eyelashes, watching as his breathing picks up. "I'll do anything you'd like me to. Just, please, I don't want to lose you. You're so special to me."

"If I was special to you," Harry pauses to grit his teeth. "If I meant anything to you at all, you would have been honest from the start."

"I was scared!"

"You were scared?" Harry scoffs. "I lived years in fear of you and your boy toy," Harry growls out. "I had to go to school every day not knowing what was going to happen! I had to go to work most nights, worried you'd walk in, calling me a fag and putting me down... You ruined my school life and now you've lied your way into my business, for what? To get some cash? You knew you'd be able to use my weaknesses against me and that's what you did!"

Louis opens his mouth and then closes it again, just staring at Harry, who is breaking in front of him. Louis' bottom lip wobbles and his body trembles, he shakes his head, disagreeing with Harry's theory, but he knows Harry doesn't trust him anymore.

"I guess I should find somewhere else to stay..." Louis whimpers and he doesn't get a reply. He feels his chest physically tighten when Harry looks at him with dull eyes and shrugs, seeming uncaring now that he knew who Louis really was, and Louis didn't blame him either.

He falls to the ground, and messily starts scraping his clothes into the bag as quickly as possible. He cries and splutters, mentally screaming at himself for not being upfront in the first place. After doing as best he can at packing, and sneaking in one of Harry's shirts, in hope that'd comfort him, he stands, his bag in his hand and eyes glistening as he stares at Harry, who is now seated on the bed, his head in his hands.

"I really am sorry, Harry. I never meant for it to go like this." He receives no reply and he swallows thickly. Louis steps over to the side table to grab his phone and then walks to the door. "If you need anything, I am just going to my uncle's," Louis whispers and watches as Harry lifts his head to nod and stare blankly at the picture.

"Harry."

Harry turns his head to look at Louis, his face emotionless, besides from the tears that continue to leak from his eyes.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me."

A/N: I couldn't write this how I wanted to, but here it is, the big reveal.

What do you think will happen next?

What do you want to happen next?

4/5 of the boys' have been used in this fic... How do you think Liam will make his entrance?

Do you think we will see Arthur again?

Tell me your theories! xo

Reminder: Today was a double update, there was a past chapter as well posted today :)