Mean to Me ♡ Larry

1.3

Chapter 13: uncontrollable

Past

Harry had decided to sit out of gym class today and it may have been the biggest mistake of his life. Last night he had hurt himself a little too far down his thigh, meaning the shorts he currently owns were too short to cover the fresh wounds.

But, people seeing them would have been less embarrassing than what is going on right now. His bully is right in front of him, with Stan and his other friend Shannon. And of course, they're doing squats. Harry watches Louis intently with his lip pulled between his teeth. He dislikes Louis immensely, but he wouldn't lie in saying he wasn't attractive.

And even if he did lie and say that, a part of his body would give away his dishonesty. He wants to cry. Sitting in gym class with a boner was not Harry's ideal scenario. If anyone sees it, he knows they'll say something. Why wouldn't they? Any chance they get to humiliate Harry, they do. This wouldn't be any different.

He watches as Louis begins to walk towards him. The boy lifts his shirt up to wipe his forehead of the sweat that had formed, his sun-kissed stomach is glistening in the gym lights and Harry can't seem to be able to even out his breaths, no matter how hard he tries.

"Whatcha looking at fag?" Louis scoffs, reaching next to Harry to grab his water bottle. He keeps his eyes on the curly-haired boy as he tips his head back to gulp down some water, some missing his mouth and dribbling down his chin.

Harry's breath hitches audibly, his pants becoming tighter at the sight. He had never been so turned on and the thought of that makes him sick. Why couldn't it be about anyone but Louis?

"N-nothing..." Harry answers, a beat too late. Louis raises an eyebrow and sets down his water bottle, a devilish smirk on his face. He brackets Harry, hands clenched to the wooden bench.

He is so close Harry could die, his intimidating stare sends chills down the boy's spine. "You know," Louis whispers against Harry's ear, "If only you were good looking you could have been able to have all this. Sorry, cock sucker."

Harry's heart drops and tears sting at his eyes. What did he expect would happen?

He watches as Louis waves a little and walks back to his friends. Stan grabs his arm and pulls him towards himself, whispering something in Louis' ear, to which Louis nods and yanks himself away, sending a bashful smile to Shannon.

-*-

"Harry, you're up!" The teacher smiles at the boy in the front seat, quieting down the jocks up the back who make sounds and call Harry's name.

Harry makes a stand, his speech in hand and cheeks a dark red. Gym class had only just finished and his problem was still prominent. He knew someone would see it. He knew there was no way of hiding it.

He walks to the front of the class, his whole body shaky and sweaty. He looks over the faces that watch him intently, some snickering and some bored. Louis sits there, Stan's arm wrapped around him. He seems annoyed and maybe uncomfortable, which Harry assumes was his doing. He is sure he upset Louis by openly checking him out and he feels so bad.

"G-good morning Ms Haggins and class," he swallows thickly and looks down at his paper, squirming uncomfortably when he can't process what's on the sheet in hand, his nerves getting the best of him. "I-I can't..." He mumbles as he looks back up, the snickering continuing, some eyes trained below his waist.

He feels a wave of nausea flow through him and drops the paper. He rushes out of the classroom and to his locker, dropping to his knees to dig through his bag to find what he needs.

Once he has it, he rushes to the bathroom, the razor gripped in his hand. When inside, he locks the stall and falls back against the wall, sobs flowing through his body. He doesn't know why he is so upset, but he just knows he is. Random panic attacks like this are nothing new, but usually, he doesn't feel the need to cut at school, but right now he can't help but pull up the sleeve of his scar-free wrist and press the blade against it.

Just as he is about to push into his flesh, the door opening startles him. He stands still, eyes watching the stall door.

"Harry?" He hears Louis' voice echo through the bathroom.

"Yes?" Harry whimpers. Pressing his forehead against the wall as he clenches his eyes shut. He slips the blade into his pocket hesitantly, breathing difficult.

"Please come out."

Harry shakes his head. "I don't want to."

"I'm not going to hurt you..."

"Hard to believe," Harry scoffs, his chest aching. "Please just leave."

"Harry-"

"Leave, Lewis! Everything would be better if you weren't here!" Harry sobs, hitting his head against the wall, his emotions becoming uncontrollable even more so than usual.

Louis closes his eyes and covers them with his arm, swallowing thickly. "I know," he whispers and leaves the bathroom, eyes teary.

"I want to die," Harry says quietly to himself, sadness overwhelming him.

A/N: sorry this update took so long! This book isn't getting much attention so I'm not sure if it's going okay. Why do you think Harry was so upset? Leave me some comments please! xo